September 12, 2024

Anatomy Of Rejection


I wanted to write about being rejected and the consequent dejection that follows suit for a very long time. Why? Simply because I belong to the quintessential “rejected” category. I guess many may have been at one point of life or the other but does not want to speak about it. Who likes to talk about an experience which is negative and deprecative of one’s own self?

Yes, we do take rejection as negation of our worth. Our worth which is an integral part of our identity. We, therefore,  perceive  negation of worth as non-recognition of who we are. The one thing that predominates our sense of identity is our ego. At times they are considered synonymous. So if someone negates our self or identity it hurts our ego to no end.

An injured ego may cause anger. For a person with very high self esteem it can be disastrous too. It can lead to acute depression. Both the causation are extreme. Anger can cause violent reaction. It is destructive. Depression can also be self annihilatory. So both depression and anger, though seem diametrically opposite, can catalyse similar results in different ways.

Now, the question is why do we take rejection so badly? I guess we seek our self worth in the eyes or judgment of others. If people around us or people whom we think are important to us or people whose opinion counts do not take us seriously, recognise us as what we wish them to recognise ourselves as or give weightage to our capabilities the way we do for ourselves we immediately fall prey to their judgement, lose our confidence and feel defeated.

It can always be argued that value or worth of any commodity is determined by the buyer. Are we commodifying ourselves if we believe our worth can be determined or devalued by others?

This is where strength of our conviction plays a very significant role. What is conviction ? It is what we believe in. It also includes our faith in our own selves. If we have faith in what we are I think it will not be very easy to destroy us. Unshakable faith in one own selves can also be taken as foolishness or arrogance. In both ways it’s a safeguard. Noone can demoralize a foolish person. Everyone keeps an arrogant person at bay.

But taken in a positive way it is conviction which distinguishes the extraordinary from the ordinary. Conviction has made possible discoveries and inventions. It has been the beacon of changes and reforms. Conviction has always outweighed rejection. 

Who has not been rejected in life? Even the greatest of the great has. But they have not stopped there. They have moved on rather paved their own way to being accepted, lauded and followed. They have become the trailblazers.

All this may sound very didactic. To a pragmatic figures are indicative. How many blows of rejection can a man’s conviction withstand? For most not many. For some it can result in incremental rise in obstinacy. How we choose to react to an external stimulus is our own decision. How we prefer to fight with our own selves is again our decided choice.

We may resign or we may rise. There is also the possibility of becoming indifferent to what may come.

Fact remains that the number who would love to reject or make us look unworthy are aplenty and waiting at every step. Who would let us be victorious? If I win then someone by default crashes down. Who would like to fall? None. So rejection means competition is heavy. If you are being rejected that means you are competitive enough to cause a sensation. That is why you are being removed from the way. This is another way of taking rejection in your stride instead of getting cowered by the very act.

Am I misguiding you? No. I am only offering an alternate perspective. Rejection is not so bad as we take it to be. It can also be another opportunity to improve, improvise or innovate. It can also mean that we have overestimated ourselves and need some reality checks. Rejection also signifies that we may not be meant for what we are hankering after. It’s an indication to opt for an entirely different route. Perhaps a more difficult one too.

So, in the final analysis, rejection may not be as regressive as we make it out to be. It  also implies that life has unimaginable possibilities which we have not cared to explore. So let’s be adventurous.

Is this wisdom gained on hindsight? Yes, possibly. But it’s worth sharing. Isn’t it? So, next time you get rejected or feel rejected shrug it out and take  the challenge of convincing the most unconvinced ones that their yardsticks are predated. Or just ignore them and take up something totally unthought of. Or sit down and just be introspective. Perhaps you will get the answer within.

All said and done, all the above tricks are way better than demeaning yourself and thinking you are really not worth it.

Don’t you think so…..?

😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆

Quotes from Pinterest

Posted by on September 12, 2024 in A SHORT ESSAY, FOR A CAUSE, Learning, MUSINGS, OF HUMAN QUEST, OPINION, REVELATION, Spreading Awareness and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

14 Comments

September 10, 2024

Dread Of Hauntings


I do not recall when I became interested in Suchitra Bhattacharya’s writings. I had heard one of her short stories on an app. I liked it. I then happened to learn about her female detective, Prognyparomita Mukhopadhay aka Mitin (Maashi) (nickname) who is married, has a kid and a laid back husband who does not mind basking in the glory of his (karate) black belt  wife. My interest doubled. And then I learnt more about the author which intrigued me to no end.

Suchitra Bhattacharya joined public service but left her secure government job to become a full fledged writer in 1970. Not many people have the guts to make such a bold choice and take such a drastic leap in life. She died young of cardiac arrest at the age of sixty five (1950 – 2015)  and left an unbridgeable chasm in Bengali literature.

I believe she was a very vocal, politically conscious person and did not hesitate to criticise the then Leftist and the current government. This again is a reflection of her undaunted spirit. In West Bengal it is not easy or , may I say, safe to be forthright about the existing ruling government.

I guess, she is the first author to bestow Bengali Literature with the first female sleuth who is knowledgeable as well as physically fit. On top of it, she juggles successfully between homely duties being married and her professional life wherein she has to deal not only with  criminals but also the  Kolkata and the State Police. At times she asks her husband to help out in securing information under disguise. This is the part I love the most. Her husband runs a Press but it does not take two minutes for him to do her bidding as he is an enthusiastic amateur stage artist in his leisure. Cute, isn’t it? A camaraderie seldom seen in Indian marital life wherein the woman of the house is either shunned to the kitchen or has to struggle to balance out between home and work life where the former is always the priority even if she is holding a stressful, demanding  job.

In Paalaabar Path Nei (No Way To escape) Bidisha, an uncommonly beautiful girl from a lower middle class family, is handpicked by Dinanath Rudra, to be the daughter-in-law of the rich and famous Rudra family. His  son, Archishman Rudra, is years older to Bidisha. Both have nothing in common either. Yet Bidisha is so called ‘happily married’ not to her husband but to the luxurious living she has always craved for which riches can only afford. She will not leave any stone unturned to retain her status of an adorable daughter-in-law and an apparently loving but insecure wife. She knows if her past gets known to her suspicious and possessive husband she will have to forego what she has earned through her physical beauty.

Try, as she may, to not  let her past mess up her present, it does intrude wreaking havoc in her seemingly peaceful life. During a vacation to Digha with her husband, she meets one of her ex-boyfriends, Arko, who covertly threatens that he is still in possession of her love letters. Bidisha returns to the hotel and finds her husband drinking. His insinuating remarks makes her uncomfortable. She suspects that he may have seen her with Arko from the hotel balcony.

A few days later she receives the first telephone call. The caller demands ₹50000/- in lieu of maintaining silence about her pre marriage life. Bidisha confronts Arko to elicit a confession that he is the anonymous caller. But he appears to be innocent. From where will Bidisha get the money to silence the blackmailer? Though she belongs to a rich family now but her husband keeps a strict tab on her money matters. She only has limited cash in hand. In a twisted plan Bidisha sells her late mother-in-law’s jewellery. Arko helps to get her the money by selling the jewellery. He also, on her request and out of goodness of heart, accompanies her to leave the money at the venue as instructed by the caller. But Arko goes a step further and decides to nab the culprit and by an unfortunate stroke of luck accosts him as well. However, before he can divulge his name to Bidisha, Arko is ruthlessly killed. Bidisha is a nervous wreck now. So, one fine evening, Archishman Rudra, having extracted the details from a frightened Bidisha, arrives at Mitin’s doorstep to help find the blackmailer. He does not wish to go to the police as that may mar the family name. Mitin takes up the case after meeting Bidisha and finally catches the miscreant.

There is nothing novel about the premise. Beautiful wife with a Bohemian past getting blackmailed after her marriage to a rich guy. But what is unique is the way the story unfolds, the characterization and their relationships and the very oblique, unobtrusive way the author delivers a message.

I will not go into the narrative as it will be a spoiler. About the characters and their interrelations –  Bidisha has only beauty in her favour which she has misused a number of times in the past. Surrounded by a diffident mother, braggart of a penniless father and an extremely jealous sibling she has none for an anchor. Her husband is not a forgiving soul. Her father-in-law dotes on her whom she does not want to hurt. Her sister-in-law and her husband are in the backdrop who are not her best of confidantes. Here, we have characters of flesh and blood. What happens to a girl in such a situation who has a past to hide ?

The author says beauty is not good enough  for a girl without strong moral fiber. Feminists may argue that this holds true for both the genders. True. Irrespective of gender, the author acceeds that if you have an ugly past it is surely going to catch up at any point of time. Noone can escape from misdeed.

I am indecisive with respect to whom should  I  call the protagonist in a detective story. Is it Bidisha or Mitin?

Suchitra Bhattacharya, in her short span of career, has written twenty novels and many short stories, some of  which have been made into films and  translated in many languages including English. If you are interested do pick up one. Apart from the Mitin Maashi series, she has written stories revolving round social issues. She has said to have been inspired by her personal experiences.

This post is just to give a glimpse of her work.

Happy Reading

Posted by on September 10, 2024 in Books, REVIEW, Storytelling, TALKING ABOUT BOOKS and tagged , , , , .

5 Comments

September 6, 2024

Some More Netflixing


Junoon is an Urdu word meaning madly passionate. But I think obsession would be better. Does the word aptly describe my fascination  for K dramas? I am watching them to the exclusion of other serials and movies. To be honest I must be getting something out of them which propels me to see more. What is it?

Entertainment ? Lessons ? Emotional satisfaction? All three of them. Lately, I have watched a few which have a common premise –  hard to please employer or boss falling in love with industrious and diligent employee. None of the dramas focus on the difference in social or organisational status as a hurdle to a happy ending. Does it not exist?

The success of these series lie in the sizzling chemistry of the lead pair. How do they manage it?

In each of these romcoms love transforms the characters evolving them into better human beings which is a heartening  hope raiser. Watching the characters grow makes one conscious of higher sensibilities, the transformative power of human emotions and  an alternate perspective far away from materiality.

I will touch upon the narratives very briefly:

Business Proposal  (2022 – 12 Episodes)

The sole heir of a chaebol, not interested in  relationship, is set  up on a  blind date by his determined grandfather. His date (heiress of a rich family) being equally disinterested cajoles her reluctant bestie to swap identity and be the date. The poor girl is thrown off guard when she finds her date is the CEO of the organisation  she works for.

What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim (2018 – 16 Episodes)

Having served a narcissistic boss twenty four seven for nine long years, the super efficient Secretary Kim decides to quit to settle down in life not knowing that her flustered  boss is hatching plots to not let her leave him ever.

Coffee Prince (2007 – 16 Episodes)

A playboy scion of a business tycoon is compelled to revive a coffee shop running at a loss. He hires four men to assist him not knowing one of them is a girl. He comes to doubt his own sexuality as he gets irresistibly drawn towards her.

Pasta (2010 – 20 Episodes)

An ambitious and hardworking kitchen assistant graduates to being a pasta cook after three long years. But to retain her new found position she has to contend with an arrogant, foul mouthed, perfectionist  super chef heading the kitchen  who is a woman hater as well and hell bent on giving her a very tough time. Will she be able to survive ?

Inbetween I did watch a few Hindi and English movies here and there. However, they failed to make an impact on me.

Savi (2024)

Just a housewife, Savitri Sachdeva, is desperate to save her husband (wrongly accused of murder) from life imprisonment by hook or by crook which even includes conniving with a prison breaker on the run.

At first it seemed like an Anil Kapoor movie but it is not. Despite the plot, the movie is not much of an adrenaline rusher.

Maharaj (2024)

Based on the Maharaj Libel Case of 1862 , the movie is about social reformer and progressive thinker Karsan’s fight against the powerful Maharaj who is habitual of taking sexual favours from young girls in the name of the ritual of  ‘charan sewa’.

It could have been a reverting court room drama had it not been preachy and didactic. I sat through this one only because of Jaideep Ahlawat. Who could have convincingly portrayed the larger than life persona of the Maharaj but for him?

Lapataa Ladies (2023)

Two girls from two remote villages wherein marrying off the girls early is the prime concern of families, get to fight for their dreams in very different ways.

It’s a much touted Kiran Rao film  showcasing how the women survive amidst still existent socio-economic backwardness and predominance of patriarchy in rural India.

Hitman (2023)

A New Orleans professor moonlighting as a hitman to save women in need falls in love with a victim who later kills her husband in fear that he may kill her if she does not.

I failed to be entertained by this romantic comedy (supposed to be based on true story) because of  the incongruences in the premise.

Trivia

Business Proposal is my first Ahn Hyo-seop  drama. He is also a very popular singer with a sweet and soothing voice. The female lead (Kim Sejeong) of the series is also a singer.

I loved the lead pair of What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim (Park Seo-joon – male lead and Park Min-young – female lead) who were purportedly in a relationship during the shooting of the series which decodes their onscreen chemistry.

Coffee Prince is my first Gong Yoo series. The outstanding actor has mega screen presence. The female lead (Yoon Eun-hye) was rumoured to be involved in several controversies relating to plagiarism which, however, has not been proven so far in the Court of Law. The series also has the brilliant actor, Lee Sun-kyun in a significant and sensitive role which catapulted him to fame and popularity and brought him accolades.

In Pasta, Lee (paired with Gong Heo-jin as the simple and painfully honest Seo Yoo-kyung) is in the role of a well trained (in Italian cuisine) but loud and aggressive chef from Italy heading the kitchen. He is the roguish boss who would not stop at anything to make his domineering presence felt in his domain (read kitchen). This stupendous actor is the recipient of the prestigious Screen Actors Guild and other  Awards for his role in the Oscar winning movie Parasite.

Unfortunately, Lee was accused of taking illegal drugs in the house of a hostess of a high end bar, which according to the actor, was part of a well thought out  blackmail plan.

In Korea, people expect very high moral standards in public figures. Public hatred for infidelity,  consumption of illicit drugs and drug crimes is huge. The tarnished image of the actor followed by a mishandled police investigation into the case led a distraught Lee to commit suicide by inhaling carbon monoxide in December, 2023. He was forty eight years old. The case was closed following his death. The police tendered an apology to his family for the mismanaged investigation whereby information was leaked to the reporters before closure of the case  Whereas nothing was proved against Lee during the course of investigation public hatred towards the actor ignited by media reports  damaged his reputation as a family man. The actor was also agonized by the fact that the police paid heed to the blackmailers more than relying on his statement. His death is still being investigated.

Lee was a stupendous performer having won  a number of awards in Korea and outside in his short span of career. I have great respect for his art and  intend to watch more of his work It’s a pity we lost him so early cutting short his journey as an artist with tremendous potentials.  Imagine how much more he could have contributed had he lived longer!!

Posted by on September 6, 2024 in Art and Art Forms, Entertainment, FILM REVIEW, Talking Of Dramas and tagged , , , .

4 Comments

September 4, 2024

Green And Blue


It’s raining…raining…and raining without intimation by an overcast sky or by a gust of vagabond wind or by scary lightening or deafening thunder. It suddenly pours. The clouds sale in later. Sometimes along with a distant roar of thunder. Odd isn’t it ?

When the sky does not weep to its heart’s content it is humid, sweaty, suffocating.

This is my third post on rain this year. But I don’t get tired of it when I look around. My eyes rest on different shades of green.

Some dark, some light, some pale, some bright – you have it all. Somebody said I was lucky to have a giloy (tinospora cordifolia)plant. It’s a climber. This year it has scaled three floors and perhaps will soar higher.

It has twined around the Christmas tree. I was told soon the parent plant will die as the climber embraces it tight – it’s leaves a shade lighter than that of the former. I call it love of a different level – parasitic? possesive? passionate? or merely obsessive to the point of  perversion?

My humble garden looks full and vibrantly green. All the plants are not mine. Some belong to my sister. As nobody was there at home for a short spell so the smaller pots were kept here for watering. But whatever the reason be they have added to the fullness and vibrancy of my modest garden.

My freshly found romance with rains continues unhampered….

It’s rained today again….

Suddenly the afternoon was as dark as night. But the downpour was not so wanton. It was contained. Slow. Steady. Consistent. More mature.

I am not happy with its consistency. It’s difficult to dry clothes. The interior of my flat looks like the river bank where the  washerwomen wash and dry laundry. We call it dhobi ghaat (washerman’s river bank)

Those who have adopted me are, I guess, less worried.

Excess of everything is bad. Perhaps I will also get over this non stop rain unusual in the month of September.

Until then…

rain

the same song

again and again

Posted by on September 4, 2024 in Animals, MUSINGS, My Garden, MY PHOTO BLOG, NATURE BLOG and tagged , , , , , , , .

10 Comments

August 28, 2024

The Korean Connect


Cinema is a very powerful medium. I will extend that to web series as well. My recent fascination with K-dramas has tickled an insatiable interest to know Korea better – it’s culture, society, food, work atmosphere, fashion and everything else. An online search revealed :

Korea has suddenly exploded on the global map

People are crazy about Korean beauty care and products which are quite expensive. Koreans just do not seem to age !!!

Korean people like to mix amongst themselves and are not very open to accepting foreigners as friends

Quite a few Koreans live in India and they like our laid back traits, jugaad culture and open arm embrace for all and sundry based on atithi devo bhava principle

Crime in Korea is low but work culture is not so good , specifically, the hweshik and pali pali systems. Also , discrimination against women and cases of sexual harrasment in offices are not uncommon

Korean working community is super competitive and in general workaholic. Working long hours beyond stipulated office time/on weekends without any incentive is normal. Those who do not subscribe to this established practice are considered not okay

K-pop culture is booming , eg , BTS Army as  K dramas and actors and they have insane fan following in Asia and outside

Korea has a rigorous training system for pop artists wherein children having potential talent are scouted and trained in isolation from family. I do not know whether this system extends to actors too

Quite a few Korean actors are also singers and are part of some band or the other. Some actors are also great philanthropists. The actors keep their personal lives away from limelight. Quite a few actors have undergone multiple cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks. That is why they look way different from one serial to the other

Korean food is predominantly non vegetarian based; vegetarians have tough time there

Koreans are not very demonstrative in public and they have to mandatorily serve in the military for a certain period

I have already written what I like about Korea. What I do not like are :

Korea’s closed community disallowing intermingling with other cultures preventing them from knowing the good and bad of other countries

Korean work culture which is not based on meritocracy but seniority making prospects of promotion difficult

Korean food like Kimchi has high spice level for which one has to develop a taste. Also, they eat anything from insects (larvae too) to octopus. Ugh!!

Notwithstanding the above, my fascination for this country grows.

Being interested in language I have picked up a few words in  Korean. Their singsong intonation has similarities with the way we speak. These are ( along with their meanings)  :

Oppa – Big Brother

Unnie: Big Sister

Noona : Big Sister

Aniyo: No

Abeoji: Father

Appa : Father

Eumeoni: Mother

Amma : Mother

Halmeoni : Grandmother

Kamsahamnida – Thank You

Chughahaeyo  : Congratulation

Chincha (pronounced as Chhinchha) – Really as in surprise

You can see some words like Appa, Amma do sound similar as they are also used in Indian languages. Abeoji sounds similar to the Hindi word babuji. We both sisters and cousin (paternal aunt’s daughter) addressed our fathers as babuji. I do not know from where we picked up this address as it is not a Bangla word and is more in use in the Hindi belt.

Though he never visited Korea but to commemorate his 150th birth centenary a bust of Nobel Laureate and the most revered poet in Asia, Rabindranath Tagore, was instituted in 2011 on one of the busy streets of Jongno District (near Marronnier Park) in Seoul. Tagore’s writings greatly inspired  South Korea  during it’s struggle for independence from Japanese colonization.

Korean legend has that two thousand years back a teenage  princess of Ayodhya sailed four thousand five hundred kilometres in a boat  to Korea to marry King Kim Suro who thereafter founded the Gaya Kingdom in the North Asian country. Princess Suriratna or Sriratna then  became Queen Heo Hwang ok. Sixty Lakh people of Korea (Karak clan) consider themselves descendants of the queen and  Ayodhya as their maternal home. Every year they visit the city to pay respect to her.

Back in present times, I watched Raj Shamani’s podcast on Korean pop singer Eric Nam’s interview. Nam had come to India to perform in Chennai. Though I do not understand pop music much I checked out his videos and found his voice sweet. In the interview he comes out as an unassuming, direct and open minded person. I guess it’s because he was born and brought up in America. You can watch the interview to know more about Korean culture.

To be very honest I never knew that I would get fixated with Korea after watching K dramas. Its funny as well as serendipitous. When I watch a Pakistani or Bangladeshi serial or film I connect easily because these countries were once parts of our subcontinent and therefore there are many similarities between our cultures etc. It’s exciting to find a link between Korea and India and that perhaps explains my fascination for everything Korean too. The viewership of K dramas in India is high and still on the rise. I think this is because we can relate to their social norms, behaviour and value system.

We do watch Western movies and series’ and try to emulate them. I feel this emulation is just blind following – trying to be someone we are not. Why don’t we emulate the respect Koreans show to elders or their parents ?  Why don’t we follow their community bonding? The way they work? I guess we will be a better society and stronger nation if we do. See how Korea is growing!!!

Just a thought!

More later….

Posted by on August 28, 2024 in Country and tagged , , , , , .

6 Comments

August 24, 2024

Recipe Of Life


What’s your favorite recipe?

I love cooking.

Earlier I used to recourse to elaborate processes to prepare exotic dishes, especially, on holidays and weekends. With passage of time, increase in workload and responsibilities and nonavailability of leisure and health issues I have come to adopt  processes  less time consuming. And I find , even with shortened method, the meal tastes as good, if not better.

We Indians have a mindset about cooking – more the number of spices and quantity of oil, tastier the food will be – which is a misnomer. Also, we lay great emphasis on meticulously following the way a dish is required to be cooked. The laid down  manner of cooking is obviously age old inherited from our illustrious ancestors who were undoubtedly master chefs.

Both my mother and father were great cooks. Mother, newly wed,  was a novice in the kitchen. She learnt the art from her mother-in-law, i.e., my paternal grandmother. I grew up seeing maa spending hours in the kitchen. Cooking was not her hobby or passion but she definitely took pride in and identified herself with the job. Needless to say, she  excelled  at it. People were invited home to taste her culinary creations like mutton chops and kobiraji cutlets. However, often she would lament with a deep sigh that the dish did not turn out the way it used to be when prepared by aamu or my grandmother. Father, on the other hand, made regular meals, partaken on day to day basis, so tasty that those still linger on my tongue. He learnt cooking out of necessity when  based in Lahore working away from family which subsequently turned into a hobby. Thus, we never went out of food on the table if mother was unwell, preoccupied or not at home.

Talking  of conventional cooking, to give an example of the process, first the wok has to be warmed up and  then oil to be put and heated  up to the right temperature for the onions (diced or ground to paste) to be added and  fried till translucent or golden brown as required followed by ginger paste to be stirred in till it’s raw smell disappears and similarly thereafter  with garlic paste and lastly diced or pureed tomatoes to be mixed and stirred till oil separates and a nice aroma of well cooked masala fills up  the kitchen. Then comes the veggies or the meat, whichever, the dish is to be made up of.

Cut two – today’s jet age where one has to be an efficient multitasker to survive, time constraint compels time management. So, daily chores have to be done in a manner so as not to  encroach into time slots for other equally important activities. Understandably, processes have to be cut short without compromising on the quality of the outcome. With reference to the above-mentioned process of cooking, my experience says the taste of the finished product remains the same if we put ginger garlic paste together with the onions and  cook them well (instead of putting them separately one after the other) which means two steps lessened in one shot. Sometimes I put all the four basics together and cook. Honestly nothing goes amiss.

Tough situations are always enriching as they  teach you something new in adaptability. One of my  bosses taught me to put every task into set formula for ease of discharging. Working with him, I learnt  to structure repetitive tasks  into  lucid formats. As a result, the tasks were finished in no time.

Same with cooking most of which is stereotypical and does not really require intricate craftsmanship. Gourmet delicacies are not made everyday.  There is nothing extraordinary about regular lunch and dinner which is made as per weather , stomach condition and sensory pleasure. Underscore the last is not to be minimalized in any way.

Since the day I have been advised (by Ortho) not to stand too long on my feet  I have redesigned my cooking style, made khaana (meal) simpler (moderate on oil/ spice content)  and time saving and reduced five (strictly against Bengali tradition of starting with bitter and ending with sweet) into two course meals.

Coming to favorites, of course, meals which are the easiest to prepare – de-starched rice with boiled daal tempered with a dollop of clarified butter or chhole or rajma which once  put  on stove with all the well stirred ingredients can be forgotten for half an hour till they soften. I can go on and on. The list is very long.

Fact remains I am a foodie and often follow super chefs like Ranveer Brar or Kunaal Kapoor on You Tube, Instagram and the rest. Brar has a tendency to make things grand in scale, execution and presentation. Kapoor is comparatively down to earth. For rare Bengali dishes I follow Lost And Rare Recipes, but frankly,  more for the narratives than the recipes, Bong Eats etc. The secret is to grasp the tweaking in the ordinary made to look extraordinary. Once you catch hold of that you need not embrace boredom for the sake of ease. 

Life, at my age, needs to be functional. For that the best option is to find happiness in simplicity – kam mein zyada or more in less.

All said and done I cannot renounce the pleasure of the palate. Notwithstanding my disenchantment with non-veg (I believe you can experiment more with veg), a few days back I prepared Chicken Awadhi simplifying my own way the recipe found on insta. At the expense of blowing my own trumpet, I must say and believe me, it was yummilicious – lip smacking, finger licking et all.

Wish to try some…..?

Posted by on August 24, 2024 in Foodie Speaks, MY FOOD BLOG, Talking About Food and tagged , .

10 Comments

August 21, 2024

Rain Song


This year summer blazed with such ferocity that the thought of rains seemed like a distant dream.

As I have said in my earlier post, rains came sparingly at first then in sudden bursts and now it’s pouring in torrents for the past few days.

Our city is dusty. A good shower washes away all the dirt and dust, especially, on big trees, where our hands cannot reach up, giving the green leaves a shiny coat of newness and vibrancy.

You can see a few drooping leaves in the picture but now they are all fresh and bright. Their lethargy  showered away.

https://videopress.com/v/2w4GQqMT?resizeToParent=true&cover=true&preloadContent=metadata&useAverageColor=true

I like the sound of rain. It’s like music with a constant beat. A rhythmic fall of waters from the heaven with a cosmic cadence.

To some it may sound monotonous. But rains in the rainy season is mood uplifting. It is harbinger of cool and happiness. When the summer heat touches the maximum we look forward to rains as it signifies a change of season. An end to the burnings and seering.

But the same rain of the winters is depressing because it does not bring in any new hope or joy. Winter rains mean  greyer, chillier and duller days ahead with overcast sky.

It’s a wonder that the same rain in different seasons has different meaning and mood. It is something we look forward to in summer whereas it is not a welcome guest in winter.

We hardly have rains in spring or autumn. So I don’t know how it will colour our lives if it rains in these two seasons.

But as of now I love to watch the trickle of water on the glass panes. The sudden roar of clouds. A  streak of lightening. The flow of water on the streets. The colourful umbrellas walking past the window or drying on the porches. The treacherous puddles on roads. Kali silently asking for shelter drenched to the end of her last fur. Maasi quietly slithering in. She knows how to unlatch the main gate. Chukchuk eagerly wagging her tail right outside with an expectant look on her face.

Rinky in a bleached red raincoat returning home after a water walk. She is the only one who loves to walk in the rains, splashing into the puddles and dirtying herself. Kanhai, her walker, opening up the checked umbrella on the balcony to dry. He takes the big pink towel off the clothesline to give her a good rub to clean the splatter of mud on her chest  legs and paws.

The steaming cup of chai on the centre table beckons me to pick up. I am still groggy but the rain song plays on a loop in the back of my mind. I make a note of making a meal that will go with the  day – something  hot and spicy and crispy!!!

That’s how a rainy morning begins.

Then the series of worries. Where to empty out the washing machine. There’s no space to dry the half wet half dry clothes. If the house helps do not turn up on time or at all ? Are the drains overflowing again? Is the water level rising in the lanes? Is the AC dripping ? 

At times I just sit on the porch and watch the sky – a bluish gray in the day …. a smoky red in the night. Stars are not to be seen. The moon is in hiding in some obscure cloudy corner. That means it will rain again later into the night while we sleep. The day next will bring in its own share of puckered brows or revelry.

Till then let me enjoy the pitter patter or a drizzle or a full outburst – the symphony of Mozart!!

Posted by on August 21, 2024 in Celebrations, MUSIC, MUSINGS, NATURE BLOG.

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August 19, 2024

Self Motivation


What motivates you?

It comes from within.

I was always a self motivated person. But I never analysed where this motivation stemmed from. I guess a work in hand gives me the motivation to complete it. I am always drawn to work. It is this reason that I generate work for myself too. When others would like to relax I find something to do.

At work , I was known for my workaholism and my inability to sit idle. I always believe a day has to have it’s fair share of output. If I am not able to produce that output it is dissatisfying and regressive. It is this reason perhaps that post retirement I feel underutilised.

Four decades of working hard, at times 24×7, sedentary life, though I wished for it, does not fulfill me. Some people, like me, do not require an external motivator. Work itself becomes my motivator. Completing the task with involvement drives me.

Motivation is a fountain within. It is somewhere embedded in your spirit. To awaken the fount you perhaps need a driver. That driver can be a person, a thought, a belief, an idea, a guiding light or anything else. But once awakened I believe the incense of motivation burns by itself.

Many suffer from burn outs. Even I did nearing my retirement. Do keep in mind that it took four decades to burn me out. I wanted a fresh lease of life. I was exhausted physically as well as mentally. I wished for an alternate universe where I could slow down. Enjoy every breath of my body. Be aware of my presence every moment. I will not call this a state of demotivation. It was just a motivation of a different kind.

Motivation to leisure is no less important than motivation to work. It’s not that I have plenty of time in hand. I do not. I still have my routine, discipline and share of work which divides the day in equal parts of work and rest. Since I am used to being overburdened with work all the time , this well paced schedule is what I shall take time to get used to. My enthue to work has not died down. But the habit of clogging my day with lots of work is also hard to get rid of.

That brings me to a very significant debate between habituated to work and motivated to work. What is the distinction? A person who is habituated to work , nay, overwork, is automatically motivated not to remain without work? I used to tell my bosses that the worst possible punishment for me would be to make me sit idle for a day. I will be dead. I remember, one of my bosses, a very hard taskmaster, would often order me to sit quietly for a while. I hated him for that. Incidentally, I had a long stint working with him for seven years which was a record by itself.

I am like a Labrador full of excess and restless energy which has to be channelised someway so as to become satiating and stimulating. Sorry for the wrong example but the breed does symbolise a truck load of exuberance and enthusiasm. They can kill you by their happiness to be playfully alive. They also get bored easily. So do I. However, boredom makes them destructive. While I cannot cling to a job for long saturation comes sooner perhaps because I put  so much in the job in hand.

Every person is built uniquely. Therefore, their driving force in life may differ. I remember writing often that once hatred was a pushing force for me. But it is a negative motivator. Somewhere down the line hatred was replaced by joy of doing.  I push my limits which to some extent is good and bad too. Good because it lets you create new boundaries or go beyond them. Bad because soon you start expecting that from others around too. Pushiness is not motivation for sure.

Motivation, in its purest form, is a positive impetus to make you go on performing your best in every aspect of life. Having said that one has to let go sometimes too when chasing a goal becomes too competitive and borders on overambition. So motivation is not being a go getter.

It may sound boastful and unrealistic but I have always tried to give my best without getting into the rat race. Once expected result becomes your motivation you are doomed. If I am working with an out of turn promotion in mind and that for some reason does not happen where do I land up? Where does my motivation go? Can I gear up again after a fall with the same speed and start competing like before? No.

Achievement of targetted output can be a great motivator. Expectation of result is not.  Getting occassionally emotionally bogged down during the course is also human. So is to err. A constantly self driven person need not be infallible. We need to dissociate motivation from self alienation.

Having said all that which was kind of an evaluatory exercise to get into the crux of the matter the genesis of my motivation is quite simple and rather psychological. I think being surrounded by work gives me a sense of  identity. It tells me I am not alone. I have my work with me. It’s kind of filling up the emptiness with tangible efforts to attain something which makes me recognise my worth and imputes meaning to my otherwise dull existence on mother earth. (Now don’t ask me  where that sense of emptiness comes from. I guess it’s congenital …built into my genes).

And that’s my source of motivation. 

Being busy …

 

All quotes from Pexel

Posted by on August 19, 2024 in A SHORT ESSAY, Confession, I ME & MYSELF, Learning, MUSINGS, OF HUMAN QUEST, OPINION, REVELATION and tagged , .

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August 19, 2024

Home And Sinha


Jayavrata Sinha (Ranveer Shorey), a  doctor in the Army, looking out for a sedentary, meditative , retired life, decides to join an Ashram in the  back of the beyond Lonpur, West Bengal. He rents a PG accommodation in Mrs. Henry’s (Shernaz Patel – fondly called Mrs. H by the locals) Khasha Blanca. However, to his chagrin, he finds himself not alone but in constant, annoying company of  a lazy, unemployed , disorderly man called Shekhar Home (Kay Kay Menon) who is also putting up  in Mrs. H’s PG. Home has a notorious reputation of not paying the rent regularly and ousting all other lodgers who have come to stay in Khasha Blanca earlier. 

More shock awaits Sinha when he finds out that Home kills time looking for the local rickshaw puller’s missing goat and playing rabaab at night. The latter is the cause of many sleepless nights for Sinha. Amidst all these daily tortures, he has to endure one more pain when he is compelled by Home to become his sidekick to assist the local police or to be more precise, Inspector Laha (Rudranil Ghosh), find a serial killer. Home utilizes Sinha’s professional knowledge to understand the killer’s modus operandi. He finally nabs the killer narrowly escaping from getting killed himself.

Soon Sinha realises that madcap Home is an egoistic and idyosincratic genius who is in the habit of helping out Inspector Laha and other locals without any monetary gain. He even gives all the credit of solving the crimes to Laha  preferring to remain in the background. Not the one to be so selfless, Sinha coaxes Home to open a Detective Agency in partnership with him  although Home insists that Sinha be nothing more than his Watsonian assistant. Mrs H , a Holmes fan, enthusiastically persuades the two in this exciting venture. Money is extracted from those who enlist their service  according to their respective means  and to Mrs. H’s delight soon the outstanding lodging charges are paid off.

As Home’s proficiency in detection spreads he is called beyond the borders of West Bengal to the interiors of Bihar wherein Sinha meets Bhombol, a secret service agent (Kaushik Sen), Home’s brother, who off and on elicits Home’s help to resolve sensitive issues. It is while nabbing a blackmailer who chooses to blackmail local politicians for their misdeeds, that they meet the beautiful enchantress Iravaty (Rasika Duggal). Soon an undefined bond is established between Iravaty and Home.

Home and Sinha’s adventures grow weirder and weirder when Home is taken by Iravaty to a remote village traumatized by series of murders committed by Skandhakaata (headless ghost). As the ghostly adventure comes to an end, in a dangerous twist of fate, Home is once again accosted by the mysterious M who has all along been tailing him. To Sinha’s utter amazement, Home turns out to be Snehashish, a brilliant professor of Forensic Science, in hiding as Shekhar Home – the only person who knows the location of a deadly vial of mass destruction. On a fateful day, M takes everyone in Khasha Blanca hostage and forces Home to locate the vial. It’s a do or die mission for which Sinha and Home have only five hours in hand.

Will Home be able to locate the chemical weapon which can turn an entire civilization into shambles? Will Home be able to outwit M in this dangerous game? Who is M by the way?

Back to crime thriller, Shekhar Home, Season 1, streaming on Jio cinema, with just five episodes, is mind bending to say the least. Though at first, seeing that it is a Srijit Mukherjee (SM) creation, I was apprehensive. SM is a well known Tollywood (Bengali Cinema) Director, who has many awards and accolades to his credit. He is a prolific movie maker, both in Hindi and Bengali. One of those you look up to.  I have marveled at many of his cinematic creations. The only problem is his scripts tend to tilt towards the morbid and moronic at times.

Hopefully Shekhar Home is in a different league altogether. The basic storyline is by Aniruddha Guha. The first three episodes have been directed by SM whereas the last two by Rohan Sippy. Yes, the serial is in Hindi.

Ranveer Shorey is at his best as the rookie assistant Sinha enjoying his miniscule moments of success in deduction all child like glee savouring his oneupmanship over Home. Rudranil Ghosh, as the blundering Inspector Laha, is a blast. I , until now,  remember Ghosh only in characters with pronounced shades of black and grey. His underplayed over confidence and  hurt self pride is class, especially, when Home teases him about his mislaid suspicions and Sinha instructs him  the course of action during an investigation. And what can I say of the veteran Kay Kay Menon? I have always respected his art and craft. He merges with every character he plays with such abandon. See him change his body language from an obscure detective to a renowned Professor of Forensic Science and master of deduction to believe.

Like all other crime series Shekhar Home ends on  a cliffhanger. We know M succeeds in betraying the law once again and absconds. But Snehashish alias Home? Is he really dead? Bhombol is heartbroken. He is angry at his brother’s obstinacy and wilfulness. But Iravaty has her own gnawing doubts and perhaps an inch of hope?

Don’t miss Shekhar Home, Season 1, on Jio.

PS: Why was I , a confirmed crime thriller addict, not able to figure out who M was which I should have as usual before the terrific fifth episode? Is it because I strayed away  from crime and suspense and got lost in romcoms ?

Point of introspection… Isn’t it?

Pics from Google

Posted by on August 19, 2024 in FILM REVIEW, Mystery, REVIEW, Talking Of Dramas and tagged , , , , , , .

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August 18, 2024

I Guess…


What do you enjoy most about writing?

I had once written a long post on writing but now I cannot find the link. I have also forgotten what I had come up with on the subject.

Now re-thinking I find many replies to the prompt.

First and foremost, writing is a marvelous tool in the hands of an introvert. All that is pent up inside finds a crevice to ooze out. The interplay of words is fascinatingly alluring. Inside the cerebrum  piles up a rubble of thoughts and feelings and emotions. As these are  strung in words they transmogrify into stunning visuals which speak more than what was cerebrally construed.

In a world of auditory cacophony words are silent warriors, influencers, inspirers. They make and break. They construct and de-construct. They mistify and de-mistify. They mythify and de-mythify. They give voice to the voiceless. They give power to the powerless. They stimulate and enhance .

Words are mightier than any other weapon in the world. Therefore, words are to be used with caution, honesty and dignity.  Herein lies the magic and mystic of wordplay. Harsher realities can be toned down. Scathing truths can be made more acceptable. Even hurtful deprecation can be inflected more soothingly. However, the thread of honesty should not be scuttled. What is written carries the weight of accountability.

What I most enjoy about  writing is the process and the purpose. The process of writing transforms abstractions into legible narratives. This process involves a purpose. What do I want to say? What is the intent ? How do I legitimise my intent ? Why do I require to vocalise my intent? It has always been a point of debate whether purpose should precede the process or one should find the purpose going through the process.

For a person who has always looked out for a ventilatory medium writing is the best. Words give you a certain anonymity. Anonymity gives you freedom. You have ample time to organise yourself before you let words overtake you.

Having succinctly put all the what’s and whys together I guess it will not be an overstatement that writing is a distinctive way of self indulgence. It also kindles self introspection.

There are people who love to hear their own voice. Then there are people who love to read theirs. I belong to the latter. I guess I perceive through words. Words do not have any lingual barrier. Words are words. They are modes of expression – direct and effortlessly impactful. 

Writing for one’s own self and writing for others are two very different genres. There was a time I wished that I should be read widely.  Today, in the last leg of my journey, I write because it pleases me. Writing has become  reminiscentive. I chronicle my own history. Sometimes I read what I have written before and wonder how I have evolved through the process. How I used to express earlier and how now. As I look back I realise it’s a journey which gives me a rare opportunity of looking at myself. Evaluate and analyse myself. It’s a mirror of my life. Miraculously I am holding that mirror in my hand. I see ages back and beyond.

Today I have embedded myself in these words. Tomorrow my words will be different perhaps even in response to the same prompt. And then there will be a time when I shall supersede my words. Will someone else be reading me?

I really don’t care.

The day I feel I have nothing more to say I will go back to reading myself.

Leaving a trove of words for posterity is not my dream anymore.

If ever the posterity finds me in my words I shall take a bow gracefully in gratitude.

Till then let me write on to my heart’s content.

Pic from Pexel

Posted by on August 18, 2024 in A SHORT ESSAY, Art and Art Forms, I ME & MYSELF, MUSINGS, OPINION, Words and tagged , .

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