Then And Now

Those were the times when nobody arrived at your home after confirming over the phone whether you were in or in a mood to welcome guests. They just walked in. Moreover, most of the families did not even have a landline at home. So the question of that confirmatory call did not arise. 

Every evening, it was customary to have somebody or the other from the neighbourhood sitting in our two room rented house sipping garam chai with biscuits or homemade namkins. The ladies would be appreciative of the snacks. At times mother would request them to impart some secret culinary tips. Flavourful gossips would flow adding to the tanginess of the assortments. Frankly, I never heard mother gossiping but she was a patient and impartial listener. What she consumed was later reproduced to my father, generally a passive audience, but at times when in a humorous mood would pass a cryptic remark making us all laugh.

The most enjoyable and entertaining gathering would be when Jethu (my father’s old friend) came alongwith his family. He was an amateur theatre person, had a booming voice, a caustic sense of humour and a theatrical delivery of opinion which sounded more like dialogues of a stage play than a conversation. Equally humorous were his sons and Jethima (his wife). What followed were sharing of amusing  anecdotes, intellectual discussions on everything and anything under the sun from national and international politics to Bengali vis-a-vis world literature to fond remembrances of life in Lahore (where my father and Jethu both had started their work life) to latest developments in science and astrology to the ultimate  neighbourhood roasting marked by loud exchange of views, vociferous dissensions by the youngsters on isms, squeals of laughter by all and Jethima’s affectionate leg pulling. The brothers (Jethu’s sons treated us like younger sisters) nurtured leftist views whereas Jethu was critical of every system on earth.

Sometimes the debates would carry on till late neither party giving in easily. Even in their own house (they lived close by) the evening discourses were never less subdued. Once in the excitement of winning the argument their voices rose to such high decibels that the poor neighbours thought there was a massive fight going on inside. Our neighborhood was an eclectic mix of intellectuals as well as semi as well as non literates. I am talking of a time when neighbours were not indifferent to each other. If there was a commotion in one household the others enquired as to the cause and even mediated in favour of a peaceful reconciliation.

Listening to the high pitch of father and three grown up  sons  the perturbed neighbours knocked on the door to find out if there was anything amiss. Jethu, as usual, in his most theatrical performance, opened the door and assured in his uninimitable way, “Nahin nahin jhagda nahin yeh to pyar ho rahaa hai” (which meant not to worry it’s not a quarrel but just a spat of love). 

And that settled the matter to the relief of all.

😂😂😂😂

In sharp contrast, evenings are now quite uneventful. A short prayer , then a quiet dinner. Maybe a TV show for an hour or half. The old habit of reading before retiring to bed – a book or a few blogs giving way to the inevitable doom scrolling.

Slight noise outside is a cause of irritation now. As I write this post I hear children bursting crackers in the Block – a too-early-pre-Diwali celebration. That makes me worry about the pollution and the consequent hazards. I will take this worry to bed.

Both me and my sister have got into this habit of keeping an audio story running on our mobiles as we rest our heads on the pillow knowing very well that it’s useless. We will be fast asleep midway or much before the story ends. But deep inside, I guess, it’s our longing to hear voices around – a semblance that the children are at home!!

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PS I : A few days back Didi told me nostalgia is not healthy. It perhaps is occasionally okay to indulge in the past but being habitual prevents moving on and is a hindrance to accepting the present. I think she is right.

PS II : I have decided to make my blog photo free which has led me to delete most of the pics in the post and header. Photos consume a lot of media space and divert attention from the writing. I will focus on the latter as of now.