When I was small my sister, who was seven years older than me, used to subscribe to a woman’s magazine called Eve’s Weekly. The magazine covered the interview of a young achiever every week as their main story followed by other articles.
In one such cover story I remember the interviewee commented that the most difficult task in this world was to be yourself. Though this remark stayed with me I was too naive at that time to grasp its full import.
However, throughout my life it has been my endeavour to be myself which does not mean inflexibility or inadaptability. But not to compromise with my core ethics and beliefs.
Most of the time, therefore, I have found myself at a loss to become one with the herd. Vice versa the herd has found it hard to consider me as one of their own.
Yet I cannot imagine myself making adjustments to be acceptable. Many times I have suffered loneliness because of my inability to subscribe to the herd mentality. Having said that I do not think I would have been at peace had I done otherwise.
The one thing (amongst many) that I am most averse to is how a particular way a woman is required to be ‘presentable’. How she has to look which becomes a decisive factor in “assessing” her rather than what her potentials and talents are. Many times I find the line between ‘well dressed’ and ‘fashionable’ getting blurred. Most times a woman with a mind of her own is considered problematic. Even if you have one you are to keep it to yourself.
Unfortunately, reforming outlook or the mindset is way more painstaking and at times even unachievable. Rather than lamenting over it or waiting patiently when the right approach will set in one just has to stick to one’s stand not getting swayed by other’s whims and fancies.
In a lighter note, here’s a spoof on my inability to stick to the usual yardstick by which a woman is “measured” in our society. I have resorted to a format which is as unusual and deliberate as my thinking on the issue is :
Oh! Please don’t ask me to change. I know I am clumsy but in vain try to look fashionable and smart in chappals, flats, even walking shoes. Just imagine ! With sarees and salwar suits !! And oh that severe knee pain! Weak muscles they say.
But please don’t ask me to change anyway.
I know this poker face of mine will never let you unwind. But no! Keep those grease paints away. It’s not going to make it glow anyway.
Just don’t ask me to change, I say.
I don’t have very many feathers in my cap. A rotten old degree frayed and crapped. It’s not of any use anymore. Neither do I want it to score any brownie points to be sure.
Just don’t bring it up, you know, for heaven’s sake.
But I surely still have fire in my breath. A heart that thumps aloud. Never at rest. A spirit that never ever gives up. If you want some quick hacks I am up for it. Anytime. Please feel free. Ask away.
But oh please don’t expect me to change this and that way.
Thank you, Geeta, for your excellent thoughts on being yourself. As great thinker, Oscar Wilde wrote:
” Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”
Joanna
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you Joanna. Oscar Wilde is so relevant.
LikeLike
I find him a fountain of wisdom, Geeta!
Joanna
From: panaecea comment-reply@wordpress.com Sent: 12 September 2025 18:29 To: naturetailsuk@gmail.com Subject: [panaecea] gc1963 commented on Oh! Please Don’t Ask Me To Change
gc1963 commented: “Thank you Joanna. Oscar Wilde is so relevant. ”
https://panaecea.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/wp-1725089267507.jpg?w=256
panaecea
New comment!
https://0.gravatar.com/avatar/3b99efe355a737ef7dda3a63c0b9a0943001c5df979d292908e52c6e3bee2d58?s=96&d=identicon&r=G
gc1963 just commented on Oh! Please Don’t Ask Me To Change.
In response to gabychops:
Thank you, Geeta, for your excellent thoughts
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally agree, what is the need to copy anyone, you are your own person, be proud.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice. Stay yourself.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much
LikeLiked by 1 person
blessed is the soul that finds its own light and shines all around
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yessss! Don’t ask me to change. 💯
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Rinku
LikeLike
“Having said that I do not think I would have been at peace had I done otherwise.” is the key sentence. I am the same
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo. Love your attitude my friend
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sadje
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love it, absolutely love it.
Ive always been me. Often I say to people o know, I was always of the mindset that people will like me for me, how i look, how i talk etc . . . .I behave the same with everyone and don’t believe in putting on any airs n graces, which my parents in law admired about it.
im not going to wear fancy clothes or start wearing make up to attract anyone, you dont like me as I am . . ..your loss, bye bye.
And why should anyone change ? That change is temporary, when the mask falls off, you will soon know who is there in front of you as your friend, your well wishes.
Im quite a straight talker . . .so ive been told . .. .but im truthful . . . . Couldn’t bear to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Im not a people pleaser, never will be, dont believe in false friendship or relationship of any kind. I dont need to have tons of friends, my close friends I can count on one hand.
So yes, please, dont change yourself to fit in for others, you may gain the popularity and in the process make yourself miserable. So stay true to yourself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely agree with your thoughts
LikeLike
Yessss!! I felt the wonderfdully embracable courage in this-the kind that chooses peace with God and self over applause from the crowd. The humor at the end doesn’t soften your conviction; it highlights it: you’re not asking to be admired for a performance, only respected for your substance. There’s a steady strength here-imperfect, real, and unbought.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Kimberly 🙂
LikeLike