What are some life hacks that you practice?
I think the biggest hack for a happy , healthy and peaceful life is to forget and forgive and move on. This hack facilitates emotional management, mental balance and physical well being. Holding grudges makes life unbearable.
They say time heals all wounds and helps forget those memories which poke at the most inopportune moments.
To consciously make an effort to forget is to keep a tab on the mind not to think about unpleasant experiences. It’s not a one time activity though. Whenever the uneasy thoughts raise their heads I just tell myself to think of something good, beautiful, calming. Or sing the song which diverts the mind or watch a slapstick comedy – its most mindless scenes available on YouTube.
Sometimes I take a walk. However, the best antidote is to pray. I pray fervently that the debilitating thoughts stop bothering me. Strangely that works. Some insight suddenly trickles in which makes forgetting easy.
Harder is to forgive. Spiritual masters say that send your best wishes to the person who has done most harm to you. To be very honest, it’s not easy. Deeply analysing the actions of the wrong doer I can figure out their state of mind and understand how and why they operate the way they do. That perhaps helps me see the larger picture – their reactions , a reflection of their inner weaknesses, fears and insecurities. This knowing sometimes acts as an ameliorative. If that can be called forgiving!!
But what has really, really helped me is my resolve to be baggage and bitterness free in the last leg of this journey. My wish to travel light has mellowed me down though I sometimes regress back. But that is human. Isn’t it?
The power of prayer is the most beautiful thing. Traveling baggage through life would be amazing.
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Yes, you are right. Prayer is powerful 🙏
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I agree with you on the importance of forgiveness. Not forgiving hurts the subject more than the object.
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You are absolutely correct. It hurts the subject most.
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Letting go of bitterness and choosing peace is truly a journey.🦋✨
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It’s a long walk Rajeshwari
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Forgiving is healing. Forgetting not so for me. What has happened and our response contributes to who we are today.
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Yes, absolutely true. It’s how we take it. Thanks so much 🙏
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Forgiveness is probably one of the hardest things to accomplish in life. I know I still carry wounds that haven’t completely healed. Still, it’s good to let go of the past, note those hurts as lessons learned, and carry on with a smile on my face. 🙂
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I agree with you. Forgiving is not easy.But it’s best to move on . Wounds, I don’t think, heal but the pain becomes less over time.
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Very true Geeta. I have managed to forgive people by lessening their importance in my life. However I don’t advocate forgetting. They may do it again!!!!
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To forget is to forget the unpleasant memories not the lessons learnt from it. We should never forget the perpetrator.
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Very wise distinction
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Thanks a lot for liking my post Publishing 🙏
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Prayer is genuine power
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Yes Professor Sahab. It is.
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Firstly it was inspiring to read this piece.
I have heard that there is a debate if we must forgive and forget or just forgive—remembering is necessary to avoid repeated encounters.
But I do like the concept of traveling light. I have been trying to make some sense about this ‘travel’ concept.
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Yes, it is part of growing up. And our parents knew that it should not be taken too seriously.
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क्षमा करना दुनिया का सब से बेहतरीन काम भी हे और मुश्किल तरीन काम भी.
Prayers हमारे दिल को सुकून देती हे ,अगर इंसान इस मुकाम पर पहुंच जाए कि दूसरों की गलतियों को माफ करे, तो खुदा के बहुत करीब हो सख्ता हे.
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Nusrat, I just read a chapter in forgiveness in a book in which it says one should forgive oneself first before forgiving others.
Yes, it is a difficult task. Prayers give peace, show us the right path and help manage our weaknesses.
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हाँ गीता दी,हम ने खुद पर भी कुछ कम ज़ुल्म नहीं किये होते हे
कितनी बड़ी बात की आपने,पहले अपने आप को माफ करना चाहिए
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खुद को माफ करना बहुत जरूरी है to come out of a guilt trip and unburden oneself. मैं ने भी इस बात को पढ़ते हुए realise किया कि शायद हम खुद से ज्यादा नाराज़ होते हैं कि हमने किसी को अपने साथ ज़्यादती कैसे करने दी।
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गीता दी,आपके वहां का नहीं पता पर यहां एक औरत पर शादी के बाद इतनी जिम्मेदारियां आती हे कि वो निभाते निभाते खुद को भूल जाती हे
और शायद हर किसी को खुश करने के चक्कर में औरतें बहुत कुछ सहती हे
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हर जगह एक ही कहानी है क्योंकि इस देश और समाज यही संस्कार हमें सिखाते है। खुद को भूल जाना भी अपने साथ किया गया एक नाइंसाफी है जो हम किसी न किसी तराशने और वजह से करते रहते हैं।
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Of course, it’s not easy. I forgive, but I think i can’t forget. Though, if I see a person in real, I feel lighter coz I forgive and adjust if there’s anything to adjust.
After all, we all made mistakes and sometimes, I thought: ah, it happens to me coz i did or thinking wrong to other people. Maybe the law of attraction?
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Hazel, the first reaction is to blame oneself. Then the second is anger : how could I let that person hurt me ? The third is repentance. The fourth is to get infuriated with the perpetrator. But I think basically all the anger, repentance, accusation and pain are directed towards oneself. That is why it is important to forgive oneself first and then forgive the wrongdoer.
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You are right. We are harder on ourselves-more often than not the person we hold a grudge against has no idea, goes on with his life while the hurt keeps poking us again and again. Yes forgiveness and forgetting are difficult but like you mentioned we ought to forgive ourselves. One thing I recently started doing is stopped pitying myself-I was asked to look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs each morning and remind myself of the things that are working out for me and realize how fortunate I am. I am doing this everyday 🙂
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Gratitude heals , shows the larger picture and helps us stay stable and grounded. True. Very true.
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Yes, bad thoughts and feelings weaken me, so I’m trying to avoid them every day, and again, it’s not easy.🤭
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