The weather has changed without a prior notice as always. Yesterday was cloudy with a cool breeze which made me venture a midday walk usually avoided. Mornings have become chilly and the temperature has dropped too. Today it’s alternating between a cloudy and a sunny mood. I hope it doesn’t rain because I have washed the clothes and hung them to dry. Such mundane worries !!😊
Late night it started raining which put Kali in a dilemma whether she should go out or not. But finally she did. This is the weather which makes me read and write. Instead I binge watched a very interesting series. More of that later. I am beginning to think that I have been writing a lot of gibberish of late. Reading the deep and meaningful posts of my fellow bloggers perhaps giving me an inferiority complex (?) But well, I have always been average and a bit flippant so no point in trying to be highly intellectual. 😁
In a recent watch …yes, you guessed it right, a Pakistani drama, a daughter says to her mother that she has many complaints against her but that does not mean she doesn’t love her. That whirled me into an introspection mode. Do complaints in a relationship lead to loss of love ? I think , no. When we love someone we have great expectations from that person. When those expectations are not met we have complaints. But that surely does not mean absence of love.
As a growing child I had a lot of ‘differences of opinions’ with my parents. Being self opinionated it was obvious that I took pride in dissenting to whatever they had to say. If not loudly then silently. I grew up with a feeling that I had not been ‘understood’ by my parents. They wanted me to be somebody who I was not. You know all that sense of individuality of the youth.
Lately, again a podcast made me question this belief. The celebrity , coming from a humble background, said that we as children must understand that our parents are also human beings with limitations. Given those limitations still they give their best to raise their children. It’s not a profound statement. But it’s a practical way of looking at things. If we expect empathy and understanding in a relationship we have to give that back in return as well.
Now as I look back I try to see my parents as humans not as just parents – somebody to idolize and look up to. And doing that I feel I love them more. I respect the freedom and space they gave me. The fact that dissension was not suppressed but allowed, if not heard or accepted wholly, itself is proof that they did not force their personalities on me. And now as I have grown old I find I am following all that they then told me which I never fathomed or paid heed to growing up.
What do you call that ????
Growth… maturation. (In answer to your question).
I loved my mother even though she was very narcissistic.
I remember a line in a movie – “everyone loves their mother, even people who hate their mother love their mother.”
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You’ve said it Little. I love and respect my mother immensely. She was a powerhouse of talent, hard working, compassionate and very loving. But we both being very strong personalities had, what I now feel was personality clashes.
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What do we call that? I called that their fruits and a powder their legacy – because what you described is probably making them smile down on you or around you
This was a great post and I hand washed a few small kitchen towels the other day, and put them out to dry
I forgot about them and the next day it rained and they were soaked
So it does matter if it rains and we just hung out clothes and I hope that yours dried before it rained
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Thanks Yvette. For that reassessing comment. I am sure to meet them in my afterlife and ask them a lot of questions.
It’s cloudy again. I am keeping my fingers crossed. 😊😊
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🙏💕🤍🤍🤍
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I just giggled about highly intellectual. 🤭 For me, I just want to express.
Your vocabulary, in my perspective, is highly intellectual, gc.
Love photo of your flower!
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Thank you so much Hazel for boosting my morale. Stay happy and healthy always
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Thank you, and my pleasure, gc
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I resonate with your words. I’ve often told my Aai (mother) that communicating with each other has become much easier at this stage of our lives. The age difference remains the same but our thought processes have matured. It allows us to understand one another much better than before. Also we can now talk freely about religion, and politics.
Love the champa tree.
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Exactly Rupali. Glad the post resonates. I thought I was the only rebel.
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I think not making complaints can be far more damaging
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You are absolutely right Derrick. Thank you so much.
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I’d call that a lesson learned. 🙂
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We all go back to our roots howsoever rebellious we are.
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I’d call it love and respect. I feel as a child I was very respectful of my father, but I didn’t get that respect and understanding from my elder. The younger ones are fine.
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Dear Sadje,
I think I had a lot of expectations from my parents. Some were fulfilled whereas some remained unfulfilled due to various reasons. When I was small I did not understand their constraints. But now as I look back I can. I also feel very proud of my upbringing because there are many who complain about unhappy childhood. I was very lucky that way. Yes, I have a lot of respect and love for my parents. Thanks for being with me and understanding me.
Love and Hugs
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You’re right that as kids we don’t understand what sacrifices our parents make for us. Being a parent is hard and at that time there were no guide books were available. Nowadays, my kids look up things on internet and they know what to do.
Lots of love and hugs dear sister
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I actually like the idea of being in the middle. There is peace and happiness in accepting that I am average.
And regarding your second point of view, I once read that parenting is not a popularity contest. My parents managed to practise that principle, but I’m afraid I failed miserably!
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There is a lot of difference in parenting now….
Parents explain a lot to their children which makes them understand….
Dissent is, I think, part of growing up…?
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Thanks for your time.
Dissent is probably the rebel inside-a important component in growing up.
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Good Morning Geeta Di
दीदी,लिखती तो आप कमाल हो,इस में कोई शक नहीं.
मां बाप से कुछ शिकायतें या नाराजगियां रहती हे हमें,पर जितनी हमारी उमर बढ़ती हे और हमारे अपने बच्चे बड़े हो जाते हे, तो हम अक्सर उन बातों को समझने लगते हे,ऐसा मुझे लगता हे.
मौसम यहां भी बदल रहा हे,सुबह शाम ठंड, पेडू के पत्तों का रंग बदलने लगा.
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Good Morning Dear Nusrat,
बड़े होने का यही फायदा है कि समझदारी आ जाती है।
कश्मीर का रंग बदल रहा है। मौसम बदल रहा है।
यहां भी आसमान का रंग बदल गया है।
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You’re right, Geeta. Children look to their parents as ones who do or should know everything. Then we become adults and realize that they simply were doing what they knew and could at the time.
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Yes, Mary. As children we have a lot of expectations and do not realise it must be difficult for parents to fulfill those expectations.
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This is no mundane writing but deeply profound. I loved what you mentioned about does complaining suggest lack of love; I used to have this misconception of perfection but have learnt the hard way that the imperfections, the complaints, the expectations makes a relationship more human. As far as parents, I have come to realize that they have their own burdens and baggage to carry and they have done the best thing that they could do and I really salute them now for if someone were to ask me if I wish to be a parent I would say a very loud and perhaps Time New Roman font size of 200, “No”-I need a lot of growing up to do before I can impart values to another soul and my parents were a million times braver than I give them credit for 😀
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No relationship is perfect. At the fag end of life realisations humbled and dwarfs expectations.
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Thanks
For liking my post ‘Remember’ 🌹 🙏
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