A heartfelt thanks to all my esteemed readers who read Part I and Part II and expressed their views. The discussion was most enriching.
My Take On The Issue :
Men are seen to have an upper hand in a patriarchal set up. They set rules, dictate terms, build opinion and enforce order. Women are considered secondary compared to men. They are slotted, misused, mistreated, misjudged and commodified. But men, under patriarchy, are equally exploited and pressurised.
Society creates roles for both – men and women. Roles create expectations. Those who are not able to fit into their pre-decided roles and fulfill the expectations are branded as failures. All other concepts like equality, liberty and justice flow from these roles which come with benchmarks.
Those who do not adhere to these benchmarks are the “other ones” – unfit and unpardonable – and therefore worthy of punishment. It is this process of “othering” which is still covertly or overtly prevalent in every society even today. It is convenient to normalise it overlooking the fact that it is the root cause of all evils.
Society, by nature has a conservative knit. There is no scope for any exception because to accept an exception requires change in perspective. Society rather work on convenience. That is why it maintains the status quo and falls back on precedence (which may have over time outlasted its usefulness and relevance). These precedents are loosely called tradition and reflect society’s reluctance to espouse anything new and fresh.
In a system predominated by hierarchy, the superior subordinate relationship thrives on exploiting personal weaknesses, victimization, discrimination and harassment. Whether it is the illegal rustic practices perpetuating age old beliefs and value systems prevalent in the hinterlands or the unabashed demoralisation of self motivated workforce in modern cosmopolitan urban work centres the grinding machine of society works on the same lines – extraction of obedience and compelling subjugation in the name of organized uniformity.
A powerful reflection on how patriarchy doesn’t merely divide society it creates rigid roles that constrain everyone. The idea of “othering” is especially significant: whenever conformity is valued over human dignity, inequality becomes institutionalised. True equality begins when we challenge the roles and hierarchies themselves, not merely who occupies the top.
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Vijayji,
Thank you very much for being with me. It is a difficult topic because we have a fixed idea of patriarchy. But watching this serial and movie I realised that society is being ruled by a handful who determine what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and unacceptable, what is just and what is unjust. The rest follows the line. The process of “othering” is a vice which is unfortunately now more prominent than ever world over. A guy from the peaceful North-east finds it hard to get acceptance in the North of the country because they are physically and socially discriminated against based on limited knowledge. Where society draws lines of demarcation it restricts growth and progress be it for womenfolk or menfolk.
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गीता जी,सदियों पहले अरब अपनी लड़कियों को जिंदा दफन करते थे(पैगम्बर साहब के आने के बाद यह सिलसिला रुका)ऐसा और भी देशों में होता था.आहिस्ता आहिस्ता यह चीज़ रुक गई पर औरत की ज़हानत,काबलियत,जज़्बात ,इज़्ज़त,अज़मत को आज भी किसी न किसी रूप में दफन किया जाता हे
जो अपने हक के लिये लड़े वह ‘others’ में शामिल हे और सज़ा की मुस्तहिक़ हे.
आप ने अपने पोस्ट में बड़ी खूबसूरती से घरेलू तशदूद,काम की जगहों पर औरतों को कमतर दिखाना या जिंदगी में मर्द औरत दोनों का लोगों की उम्मीदों पर न उतर कर suffer करना सब समाजी बुराइयों को दर्शाया हे.
शायद हम लोगों ने इन चीजों को इतना normalize किया कि अब यह सब समाज का हिस्सा बन गये .
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नुसरत, पैगम्बर साहब के आने से पहले अरबी समाजों में औरत पर हुए ज़ुल्म दिल दहलानेवाली हक़ीक़त है।
आज भी औरतों पर हुए अत्याचारों की लिस्ट बहुत ही लंबी और भयानक है इससे इंकार नहीं किया जा सकता है।
पुरुष शासित समाज में पुरुष शोषक भी है और शोषित भी।
उसी तरह औरत अत्याचार की शिकार भी है और अत्याचार करनेवालों के सहयोगी भी। एक औरत ही दूसरी औरत को पुरूषों के नियंत्रण को मानने के लिए मजबूर करती है।
शायद ये सर्वाइवल तकनीक है। पर ये भी एक अकाट्य सत्य है। जैसे औरत को कमजोर बने रहने की हमेशा हिदायत दी जाती है उसी प्रकार पुरुषों को कहा जाता है कि वे भयानक तकलीफ में भी न रोये। क्योंकि रोना एक कमजोरी है जो सिर्फ़ औरत ज़ात को शोभा देता है।
और हम सब ये युगों से बनाई गई रीतियों के शिकार है क्योंकि हम भी इन बातों को नॉर्मल समझते है और दिल ही दिल में इन्हें मानते हैं।
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You put me in mind of Foucault.
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Thank you for introducing me to Foucault.
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My pleasure. 🙏
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Very well done, my friend! Personally, I feel the best interactions are the ones done on even ground. I think that when people are at the same level, more can be accomplished.
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Ideally , yes, interaction in equal footing is the best from the perspective of growth and progress.
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I often think the power of a mother to influence her children’s behaviour and beliefs is underrated.
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In our society, mothers are primarily held responsible if the children go astray.
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How well you’ve written this post Geeta. I agree with you 100 %. We will never get better as people and society until we reexamine our customs and norms.
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We are reexamining our customs and norms for years, bringing in reforms in paper and in spirit yet the actual transition at the grass roots takes very long to take place. It’s a fact for every nation and society.
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Unless the mindsets are changed with education, nothing will really change.
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Sadje, I have seen even educated people behaving in a backward manner and believing in outdated customs. Formal education does not necessarily bring about enlightenment. For most it’s just acquisition of a paper degree for professional requirements.
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Oh I know! I meant enlightenment.
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👍👍👍👍
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🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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