As I have said many times earlier , aggression is very much a part of this world. The National Capital Region (NCR) encompasses the Capital as well as parts of two neighboring States. As one crosses the borders, the zabaan (language) changes, so does attitude and outlook.
Moreover, NCR sees a convergence of people from all the other parts of the country as well as outside. The influx of certain communities, who are essentially rough, tough and gruff, and their occupying positions of prominence, has lent the city the predominant culture.
Additionally, this is also the “Centre of Governance”. Here the public has a tendency to be cosy with anybody who has the slightest scope of wielding authority. Everybody tries to be a who’s who. For the littlest of things the conversation begins with , “Tu jaanta hai main kaun hoon?” Meaning ” Do you know who I am?”
Here politeness is taken as weakness and a courteous person is deemed as trample-worthy. More so in the case of the weaker sex. Aggression, thus, at times takes the colour of false bravado. But most times that works. One of my bosses once told me to deal with people the way they were used to being dealt with. “Sophistication with a person who has never experienced it is fruitless.” He would say.
I had a female colleague who had a different tactic. The way she would say hullo over phone was her master stroke. If the opposite sex was on the other end of the line one could rest assure that the job would be done even before it was uttered.
A few years back I impulsively purchased a robotic vacuum cleaner. This year the thought of putting it to regular use occurred to me. Unfortunately, the gadget refused to work. I sent it to the Company’s Authorised Service Centre for repair (Pick-up arranged by them).
Upon several follow-ups they communicated the issue and the corresponding repair charges which seemed exorbitant. I told them to return the product as it was. It was then that they started haggling with me for taking another machine in exchange, which, according to them, was the latest. I was not interested. They continued to negotiate on WhatsApp.
In the meantime, as per procedure, I paid off the minimum service charges that were due to get the machine back. But it did not get delivered. Surprisingly, when I said I’d collect it personally they would not confirm their location. It was when I threatened to lodge a police complaint in my deadliest tone that they delivered the product within an hour’s time.
But I didn’t like the way things went.
I’d rather be like my colleague – a husky voice, a demure countenance, a helpless look – believe me I tried that route but failed miserably. 😞
God made me out of a different mould.
Yet once, in a desperate attempt I had told one of my male colleagues, “Main abala naari…”
His immediate response was “A hathaa do…” Which meant “Remove the a from abala”
Abala in Hindi means a poor, pitiable woman. I had tried to give myself that epithet.
Subtract the ‘A’ and the word takes the exact opposite meaning – bala meaning danger…!!! That’s what my public image is 😳!!!! 🤭
Should I be ashamed of myself????
You should be proud of yourself,Geeta Di.
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Which I am but that unladylike “bala” bothers me…. 😂 😂
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असल में अक्सर वर्किंग लेडीज खुद को अबला नारी की तरह पेश करती हे ,इस लिये एक नॉर्मल औरत जो हर वक्त अपने अबला होने का रोना नहीं रोती ‘बला’ दिखती हे सबको.
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सही कह रही हो। पर बला होने का यह नतीजा है कि सब समझते हैं कि ये किसी न किसी तरह से सब संभाल लेंगी जो कि हमेशा मुमकिन नहीं हो पाता है। पर मैं बला ही ठीक हूं। अबला होना बड़ा मुश्किल है क्योंकि भगवान ने मुझे उस तरह से नहीं बनाया है
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समाज जो कि ज्यादा तर मर्दों के नजरिये से चलता हे ‘अबला’ नारी को पसंद करता हे.
पर जो नारियाँ ‘बला’ पैदा हुवी हे वह ‘बला’ ही रहे गी😂😂
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You are spot on Nusrat. We are dealing with patriarchy where a pitiable woman is acceptable and not a daring one.
मैं बला पैदाइशी नहीं हूं। वक्त ने मुझे कहर बना दिया है।क्या फिल्मी डायलॉग मारा है। वाह! वाह! 😂 😂 😂 😂
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Such a brilliant, witty, and relatable post, dear Geete!
Don’t be ashamed at all. I think that being a ‘bala’ is a superpower when dealing with customer service!
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Not only with customer service, dear Luisa, it’s with patriarchal arrogance in every form. Thank you so much for the encouragement.
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You are so right, Geeta! It definitely is a superpower against that too.
… and you have my full support always
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Thank you for your kindness and support
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You’re more than welcome
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I think assertiveness is to be preferred to aggression. Ideally. It’s a fine line though. I’m told I can be quite scary when I’m being ‘assertive’. What can you do? Manners is good and a bit of politeness too, but politeness can be tested. Pity your vac claim wasn’t earlier. Maybe you could have got a refund?
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It was working fine when I purchased it. But then it was not put to much use. Gadgets, if not used, malfunctions.
You are right. There is a fine line of demarcation between assertiveness and aggression. Sometimes we do have to cross the line depending on who we are dealing with.
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You have to fight your corner
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Yes, that’s true. Thank you Derrrick
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You have no need to feel ashamed. You stood up for yourself and for the right thing. It’s unfortunate you have to unleash that part of yourself, but sometimes it’s necessary. 🙂
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Yes. I was not happy because things could have been settled in a smoother manner. Anyway , sometimes we have to bring out the worst in us. Thank you so much for your understanding.
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You must have heard of the saying- when you can’t get the ghee to come out of the tin, you have to bend the finger- that’s what we women have to do. If politeness doesn’t bring results, a bit of threat works.
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