I have been, of late, thinking quite a lot about how “being old” is to be defined. Is it just by age? But age, at the expense of sounding cliched, is just a number. There are people around me who have been defying age in their day to day working, living and thinking. Or is it to be understood by the fitness quotient? I guess that too is a debatable parameter considering the advancements in medical sciences.
My mother was operated for breast cancer in her eighties. The surgery was successful. The credit of her post surgery rehabilitation goes as much to the doctors as to her own will to live. She breathed her last in her 92nd year. Throughout those last ten to twelve years she valiantly fought against chronic infections gradually taking over her body along with profound dementia.
Society has a way of shunning the old. If you are infirm more so. “They are old…they will not understand” is something that I often here. Is it when you lose relevance that you actually become old ? I also fear outlasting my utility – to others as well as to my own self.
My elder sister says human connection is very important. True. So is community bonding. In the book “Ikigai” Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia say that being a robustly interactive part of a community helps people live a happier, healthier and longer life.
I don’t aspire to be a centenarian. But when I see my contemporaries are living a more active life I try harder to combat my disabilities. Sometimes I am successful…. sometimes I am not. Age catches up when we lose purpose, give up on hope, submit to fate.
Yet in spite of my efforts to lead a better life, physically as well as mentally , I worry whether I really belong any longer. Am I acceptable to the millennials? Am I comprehensible to the GenZ? Will the Gen Alpha be accomodative of me?
I think these nomenclatures have distanced people more. It’s like they are from a different planet and I have survived the Ice Age. I wish we were a little more inclusive, perceptive and willing to understand each other – it’s both ways. I guess that’s how we can be more agile. Understanding each other’s viewpoints. Keeping abreast of what’s new. Keep on learning. Communicating effectively. Not the way we used to but the way the present generation is able to grasp.
I guess the whole issue is our tendency to live in the past. Compare it with the present and feeling morose that things are not happening the way it used to be. That’s killing if you think deeply. Time is linear. It will never make a U turn. Living in a time warp makes one less and less adaptive. My elder sister has resolved to learn something new each progressing year. She is making herself useful to her family. That’s the way you escape redundancy. Her spiritual leaning helps in many ways.
Where am I in this whole paraphernalia of living in tandem with time?
Still introspecting…
im 28/05/1985
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I don’t think of time as linear, I think of it like a number of puddles dotted around the place. But then time doesn’t really exist, we create theories about it to help make sense of the world. I think. 😏
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thinks
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Yes, you are right. Time was conceptualized to control the cosmic flow.
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Enjoyed your thoughts on aging and the way society views aging…. meaty thoughts
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Thank you so much Yvette. Your presence in this post means a lot to me.
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🥰
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Ps
I think here should be hear
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👍
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Geeta ji, this is such a thoughtful reflection. I especially loved your point that age is not about numbers, but about purpose, connection and our willingness to keep learning. ❤️
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Thank you Maha. Aging has its advantages and disadvantages like all phases of life.
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Such a profound article Geeta and it made me pause and reflect for several minutes. The lines, “Is it when you lose relevance that you actually become old ? ” speak volumes. What I have come to understand and also learning at the same time is we perhaps need to be relevant to our own selves, over being relevant to others. May be that sounds way too philosophical but what I mean as long as we have the faith, the resilience and willingness to get up each day and forge forth, we are relevant much like your sister is doing-living for her own self and happy at it.
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You are absolutely correct Parikhit. Relevance is internal as well as external. Believing in one’s own self is as much an enabler as being resilient and motivated. I guess self motivation works more as we age. We have to set our own goals, seek our own purpose and persuade our own selves to strive harder to be useful and positive. Thank you very much for your elaborate comment and understanding and all the suggestions.
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There is much to ponder here
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Thank you very much Derrrick 🙏
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I think growing old is a privilege, denied to many. I love my grey hair and I the respect people show me. As for purpose of life- we have to create it ourselves. My objective is writing and learning Quran. You can do that by learning Gita. But your presence here is appreciated by many people.
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Yes, it is a privilege in terms of the wisdom and experience gathered. Your suggestion about learning Gita is well taken. Thank you very much 😊
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You’re very welcome dear friend.
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गीता दी,अगर दुनिया के किसी कोने में कोई आपके पोस्ट का इंतजार करती हे और आप न लिखो तो परेशान हो जाती हे कि गीता दी ठीक तो हे ना,क्यों नहीं लिखा कुछ, तो आप appreciated भी हो और connected भी
फिर रही बढ़ती उम्र,अपने साथ छोटे मोटे हिचकोले लाती हे पर जिंदगी की नाव चलती रहती हे
Wish you a healthy,happy long life ,Di
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Thank you so much Nusrat. My heart fills with gratitude reading your comment 🥰. I am a little short of words now.
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I agree with Nusrat.
WP has brought like-minded people together. I was truly looking forward to meeting you in New Delhi, so I felt disappointed that it didn’t happen. Sending you much love and my warmest regards.
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The feelings are mutual. I too wanted to meet you. Perhaps we will some day. Thanks Rupali.
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Age, to me, is just a number. And much like you, I’ve been thinking about it more often than not. I can see the road ahead is much shorter than the road behind, but I’m okay with that. I simply want to enjoy my time here as best I can, perhaps do some good and leave behind good memories.
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Exactly my thoughts.
To live a fulfilling life which may not be extravagant. Some good deeds and hopefully leave behind smiles and laughter.
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Sometimes, I can connect more to older women coz i like to talk to them to gain wisdom and how life a golden years ago. The comparison or difference was insane.😁 My sister and I just talk yesterday how the future is worrying for their children. Even if I’m just a tita, I don’t feel so secure for my lovelies in the future with all this modernization.
And now I hope my comment is not out of context again.
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Dear Hazel,
Sorry for the delayed reply.
Your comment is not out of context.
The rapid development of technology and availability of a flood of information are intimidating and require skilful handling.
The future at times looks formidable perhaps because of a lack of coping mechanism on our part.
Comparison is inevitable because of the yawning gaps between the past and the present.
But we humans are survivors and we shall see many more inventions and discoveries come up.
Stay blessed as always.
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Stay blessed as well, gc. No rush on replying to me. Hugs!
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I have had a lot of painful days with all the rain and humidity, so your post is quite relevant for me. I love your point that time will not make a U turn. It only moves forward. Blessings to you, Geeta.
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Thank you very much Mary and God bless. You are an inspiration.
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I do thing age is only a number, and we are only as old as we feel, of course our agility, and fitness level plays a part in it too…
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Yes, I agree with you. Along with that I would add mindset too.
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That saying:
Don’t act your age – age is just a number.
We all are going to age, on the long run. A lovely reflection by you.
Thank you Geeta.
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Thank you O’Shine for your wise observation
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All aged adults were once children, but unfortunately, not all children would become aged adults.
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A quotable quote. 👍
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