Metacognition

I am not writing this post to wallow in self pity or to tell the world how much I am suffering. I write this post to marvel at a fantastic piece of human organ – the brain!

On the sixteenth day from the date of my left eye surgery I had my third review. I was still not able to work or view any kind of screen – laptop, TV and at times even mobile – due to the glare. However, the distance vision had improved sixty to seventy percent. The doctors not only checked the anterior part of the eye , that is, the surface of the eye and the newly inserted  lens,  but also the retina through a high powered machine to ensure that there was no anatomical  obstruction to my vision. However, it turned out to be more a ‘perceptual’ issue.

The surgeon explained that since I had abnormally high power with which I had been living for the past more than fifty years ( from early school level onwards), my brain was not accepting the fact that I could now see without or zero power and minus spectacles. So, in addition to medication, I was advised to not only  push my boundaries further but also keep on telling myself that “I can see… I have to see… I am seeing”. Also, the fact that now a lot of light is entering my operated eye, which was earlier being prevented by the cataract , the eye needs time to process the same.

I have been told by many that cataract surgery, with advanced technology, is just a breeze. I have seen members of my extended family undergo the process and live life with ease soon after. But it is not happening with me.

To be honest, when I was waiting for my turn for the review I was a wreck. Seeing patients with various handicaps in the hospital I almost came to believe that I might  have to live with visual impairment for the rest of my life. It was overwhelming and intimidating to say the least. It is then that I practised metacognition to get a firm grip on myself and my emotions.

Metacognition is said to be the highest form of intelligence. It is the art and science of self observation – of one’s own feelings, emotions and thoughts. It is the process by which one becomes the seer or the witness of one’s body and mind as external objects. I told myself that my eye is recuperating and in no time it is going to get healed. I also prayed fiercely for strength and courage to get over the situation in which I now seem to be.

Emotional detachment is very important in times of crisis, panic and depression. It is our unbridled emotions that confuse our brain into thinking negatively. After the doctor’s confirmation that my eye is okay but it may take some more time to see normally I realise how conditioned our brain is. However, the good thing is with supreme efforts it is possible to control the way it thinks.

I recently heard a lecture by Swami Sarvapriyanandaji on detaching oneself from one’s body and mind to overcome contined emotional sufferings. It helped me immensely during my short meditation in the hospital and the process of metacognition.

This is just one instance of how useful the process of metacognition is. Continuous practice can convert it into a regular habit. I have been through phases of life when melancholia or depression overpowered me. It is easy to succumb to negativity. But it is   imperative to get over these emotionally weakening moments to have a healthy and healed life. Most of the battles in our lives are with our own selves. Metacognition is a powerful weapon to combat our deviant thoughts.

I am not saying I am thorough in it but I have made myself undergo the process, in a rudimentary way, and seen its instant result. Yes, it needs conscious endeavour and mindfulness but it is doable. Pray, in times of need, God gives us good sense to exercise our brain and direct it towards positivity and wholesome thinking.