What’s a mystery from your own life that you’ve never solved?
I have never ever talked about this before but seeing the prompt I thought it’s high time I do.
Since childhood I have been extremely, extremely fearful of the festival of Holi. Holi is an important Hindu festival. It’s played with family, friends and even foes. On this day enmity is forgotten. Only love, joy and fraternal feelings prevail. Holi is played in the season of spring with colours and water. Right before the festival the markets are swamped with powders and liquids of different colours.
Families get together, splurge colour and water on each other, share sweets and delicacies, sing and dance in groups. It is a festival which breaks down barriers. It also symbolises the essence of spring – a new beginning.
However, over passage of time Holi has degenerated into a roudy culture and come to be associated with hooliganism. There have been incidents of crimes and fulfillment of hidden agendas in the garb of fake unity. In the cult movie Damini a young house help is victimised by young boys in a family gathering on Holi. The daughter-in-law or Damini is a witness to the heinous act which is carried out for sheer carnal pleasure. The perpetrators go scot free as they are unrecognizable due to the layers of colours masking their faces. When Damini decides to open her mouth she is pressured to maintain silence by the family as well as other vested interests. I refer to this filmy story merely to underscore the vicious side of the sacred festival. Ironically, Holi is preceded by Holika Dahan which upholds the victory of good over evil.
Since childhood I have seen Holi being played in the family. Ours was a joint family with lots of friends and acquaintances who would come over on this day, catch hold of my mother and paint her black and blue with colours. Squeels and shrieks of laughter followed. The dholkis or dholak players would play the dhol or drum loudly taking rounds of the gullies or mohallas while young boys in colour sprayed clothes would dance to the beat.
It’s the noise accompanied with the sudden throw of colours that have always terrified me. I remember once a life saving drug had to be given to bring me back to consciousness. I have tried to analyse this deep seated fear but to no avail. Perhaps this has something to do with some catastrophic incident in my previous birth. Often I have thought of undergoing past life regression to seek an answer to this unresolved mystery but being not so certain about the efficacy of the process I have stayed put.
Till now I don’t play Holi and lock myself inside the house on the day. Loudness in any form is not agreeable to me. Since writing is therapeutic I thought doing so may bring some clarity to this illogical dread cause of which is yet unknown.
How awful
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Truly…. Derrick
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The festival of Holi (mainly the colour festival) is ofen misused by the wrong elements of the society who harass females in the garb of playing Holi. Since your fear is a mystery for you, the solution can come from within yourself only and not from outside. Anyway, I play Holi whenever in a housing society or colony but to a very limited extent.
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Thank you very much Mathur Sahab for your insightful comment. I think there is an element of forcefulness in Holi which I dislike. The other is the noisiness.
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We didn’t have holi in Chennai when I was growing up. But some bad elements did spray me with ink while I was walking to school! Yes it is an opportunity for some bad people.
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Yes, it is. I remember returning from school suddenly a gully boy would tiptoe on us and burst a water filled balloon on our backs.
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Those are ptsd experiences!
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“Holi Hai” should never be an excuse for immodesty, indiscipline and causing inconvenience for others.
All festivals should be celebrated with grace, peace and love
I would personally like Eid and Diwali also without firecrackers causing noise and air pollution.
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I endorse your views completely.
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wonderful
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I remember that movie – it was disturbing.
Since we don’t really celebrate here in SA … its been a fascinating celebration for us…
Your experience sounds scary enough to keep you indoors..🤍
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Celebrating the festival in a quiet way appeals to me not otherwise
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that is tough GC! I’m sorry you have this deep seeded fear. Xx
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Thanks Carol Anne. I appreciate your concern. Hugs…
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Oh I’m sorry Geeta that you have such a traumatic reaction to Holi. Perhaps it could be something that happened in your childhood? Hugs and healing thoughts dear friend
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As such I can’t recall any such incident. But there’s an element of zabardasti in Holi which I dislike. And the colours…
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I can understand. Like I was never a fan of fireworks on shab-e-barat. It’s dangerous and waste of money.
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It’s been so long since I have played holi. I loved “gujiya” and other sweets/svaoury items made for holi celebration.
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Yes, gujiya usva is a very interesting part of the celebration
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This was a good post I enjoyed your writing
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