My father used to say making conversation is an art. A little surprising for a person who himself was very reticent and reserved.
A conversation can be educative, enriching and empowering. It can also be, unfortunately, a cause of distaste and disgust.
During my hospitalization, early last year, I was in a twin sharing room. During the visiting hours friends and relatives of patients would flock around as though it were party time. They would yap, laugh and joke loudly which could be entertaining or relaxing for the patient whom they were visiting but a nuisance for the one who was sharing the room.
People forget that every conversation has its suitability and time.
And then there is another breed who are intent on making you depressed and sad.
When my sister met with an accident we’d be regularly getting visitors in the evening. It was then an accepted and almost mandatory social custom. If you did not visit your friends and relatives in times of distress you were considered unsocial. Even perhaps today the norm is the same only the ways of interaction and communication have changed.
On those home visits some made cheerful conversation while others embarked on citing very shocking incidents where the ailing or the injured were either in graver physical conditions or had succumbed to their ailments or injuries. These anecdotes made my sister more miserable as she was completely bedridden and obviously in a lot of pain and agony – both physical as well as mental.
Understandably, pessimistic visitors agonized her more. At that time she earnestly needed moral strength and mental release. An appropriate conversation could have given her both, but alas, for some it was the time to make her realise how pathetic and hopeless a state she was in.
These incidents were coming to my mind because of a few specific interactions of late where the common query was how hard it was for me to spend time as I was now retired. To which I honestly replied that I hardly had any time to realise that I was not working or that I didn’t have a regular preoccupation. From the querists’ facial expression I got a funny feeling that they were not satisfied with my reply or perhaps didn’t believe me at all.
Those who ask such questions either want to give me a lot of gyaan (advice) on how to lead my (retired or otherwise) life or condole or console me on the state that I am in. Since I don’t give them the opportunity for either they quickly excuse themselves and disappear from the scene all together.
Both ways suit me fine because neither do I want to include snoopies nor uncalled for advisors in my social circle.
Period.
You have engaged all of us so well that there is no need to have any other certificates to prove that you are excellent in conversational skills 🌺🌸
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Thank you very much Rajendraji but I was talking about people’s conversations which unexpectedly and unequivocally give glimpses of their unspelt agendas.
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Yes but by the by I felt like compliment you. I smiled people taking about grave consequences of accidents when your sister was admitted 🌸🌷
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Thank you again Rajendraji. Empathetic readers are the soul of blogging.
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Yes indeed
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I am writing to all suspected bots & supposedly AI entities personally & in comments asking some personal details of broad type like region etc to convince me they are real
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It would be interesting to know the result
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I will share here one link of conversations openly and you give your verdict whether real human can respond so calmly
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I read the conversation. You are right.
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Look how suspicious are their replies. The person is replying in every other possible manner but cannot give any details of a larger type also. When I challenge openly, there are sweet replies but of no use
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What is the good use of these bits? What do they gain out of it?
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Hi profile digital fraud links working with honey traps working with hidden plans
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Should be careful. I find him everywhere almost the first to comment which are unnecessarily lengthy, well crafted but meaningless if read carefully. You should delete such comments as soon as they appear on your posts because you never know what they are up to. His profile and posts are also fake. And he stalks those who are very popular receiving lots of comments and likes.
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Exactly now you are on right path. You identified very intelligently. There are several other associates of him who work in tandem. If you ask some question here, they reply personally to you by email. I’m happy you have correctly observed that comments are unnecessarily lengthy but meaningless. We must always examine the posts of each commenter because comments one can get by using some app but one cannot create a personal, trustworthy, authentic image in readers’ minds like many people do
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Read conversation under today’s post and be open in writing your suspicion here
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So real and relatable. It reminds us how much empathy matters in everyday conversations.🤍✨
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Thank you Rajeshwari. Empathy is as important as knowing what to say when.
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“People forget that every conversation has its suitability and time.” is a profound statement
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Thank you very much Derrrick 🙏. I am glad you endorse the view.
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A sharp observation, indeed—conversation can heal or hurt, and choosing the right listeners and speakers makes all the difference, though sadly, the choice is limited.
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Indeed Mr. P. Well said.
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sorry people feel the need to question you as to what you do in your retirement. Frankly, it is no one else’s business!
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Here the definition of social courtesy is a bit different. Inquisitiveness is taken as genuine concern.
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Oh yes, we have these pessimistic people here as well. It just shows we enjoy the misery of others. How very sad.
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You are spot on. They are a sadistic lot.
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Yes they are. The trick is to either take them in a different room or change the topic.
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Yes, changing the topic is a good approach by not extendinh the conversation for too long.
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Indeed. Diversion is what works.
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Geeta ji,
What a perceptive and beautifully articulated reflection. You have captured something many experience but rarely express that conversation is not merely exchange of words, but sensitivity to time, space, and emotional need.
Your hospital and home-visit memories illustrate this with striking clarity. How easily speech can either comfort or wound. And your closing observations on retirement are gently humorous yet deeply insightful not everyone asks to understand; some ask to advise or to judge.
Gracefully written, honest, and quietly empowering.
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I love the picture. Went really well with what you wrote. Aunties who give jnaan! 🙂
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One of them is me 😂🤣
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🤣🤣🤣
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Yes, the space and time matter when we start a conversation, especially if health involved in it. Unsolicited advice feels bad sometimes.
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You are absolutely correct Hazel. Unnecessary advice, gossip, depressing talks are all unhealthy stuff.
God bless
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Truly. God bless you too, gc
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This reminds me of when we’d talk on the phone in a closed door phone booth, so worried that someone would overhear our conversation. Today we talk on the phone in public walking down the street, in stores and restaurants, and public parks. Good post, Geea.
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Mary, that’s another subject I wish to write about. Talking on mobile in public. We have lost the sense of privacy.
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Thanks for sharing this very thoughtful post! I certainly agree that people choose to be ignorant about how to be respectful or mindful of boundaries in a conversation. Yoi have rightly noted that some folks just prefer to project their own insecurities and negativity onto others. Keep shining your wise light within and more power to you!
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