Self Motivation

What motivates you?

It comes from within.

I was always a self motivated person. But I never analysed where this motivation stemmed from. I guess a work in hand gives me the motivation to complete it. I am always drawn to work. It is this reason that I generate work for myself too. When others would like to relax I find something to do.

At work , I was known for my workaholism and my inability to sit idle. I always believe a day has to have it’s fair share of output. If I am not able to produce that output it is dissatisfying and regressive. It is this reason perhaps that post retirement I feel underutilised.

Four decades of working hard, at times 24×7, sedentary life, though I wished for it, does not fulfill me. Some people, like me, do not require an external motivator. Work itself becomes my motivator. Completing the task with involvement drives me.

Motivation is a fountain within. It is somewhere embedded in your spirit. To awaken the fount you perhaps need a driver. That driver can be a person, a thought, a belief, an idea, a guiding light or anything else. But once awakened I believe the incense of motivation burns by itself.

Many suffer from burn outs. Even I did nearing my retirement. Do keep in mind that it took four decades to burn me out. I wanted a fresh lease of life. I was exhausted physically as well as mentally. I wished for an alternate universe where I could slow down. Enjoy every breath of my body. Be aware of my presence every moment. I will not call this a state of demotivation. It was just a motivation of a different kind.

Motivation to leisure is no less important than motivation to work. It’s not that I have plenty of time in hand. I do not. I still have my routine, discipline and share of work which divides the day in equal parts of work and rest. Since I am used to being overburdened with work all the time , this well paced schedule is what I shall take time to get used to. My enthue to work has not died down. But the habit of clogging my day with lots of work is also hard to get rid of.

That brings me to a very significant debate between habituated to work and motivated to work. What is the distinction? A person who is habituated to work , nay, overwork, is automatically motivated not to remain without work? I used to tell my bosses that the worst possible punishment for me would be to make me sit idle for a day. I will be dead. I remember, one of my bosses, a very hard taskmaster, would often order me to sit quietly for a while. I hated him for that. Incidentally, I had a long stint working with him for seven years which was a record by itself.

I am like a Labrador full of excess and restless energy which has to be channelised someway so as to become satiating and stimulating. Sorry for the wrong example but the breed does symbolise a truck load of exuberance and enthusiasm. They can kill you by their happiness to be playfully alive. They also get bored easily. So do I. However, boredom makes them destructive. While I cannot cling to a job for long saturation comes sooner perhaps because I put  so much in the job in hand.

Every person is built uniquely. Therefore, their driving force in life may differ. I remember writing often that once hatred was a pushing force for me. But it is a negative motivator. Somewhere down the line hatred was replaced by joy of doing.  I push my limits which to some extent is good and bad too. Good because it lets you create new boundaries or go beyond them. Bad because soon you start expecting that from others around too. Pushiness is not motivation for sure.

Motivation, in its purest form, is a positive impetus to make you go on performing your best in every aspect of life. Having said that one has to let go sometimes too when chasing a goal becomes too competitive and borders on overambition. So motivation is not being a go getter.

It may sound boastful and unrealistic but I have always tried to give my best without getting into the rat race. Once expected result becomes your motivation you are doomed. If I am working with an out of turn promotion in mind and that for some reason does not happen where do I land up? Where does my motivation go? Can I gear up again after a fall with the same speed and start competing like before? No.

Achievement of targetted output can be a great motivator. Expectation of result is not.  Getting occassionally emotionally bogged down during the course is also human. So is to err. A constantly self driven person need not be infallible. We need to dissociate motivation from self alienation.

Having said all that which was kind of an evaluatory exercise to get into the crux of the matter the genesis of my motivation is quite simple and rather psychological. I think being surrounded by work gives me a sense of  identity. It tells me I am not alone. I have my work with me. It’s kind of filling up the emptiness with tangible efforts to attain something which makes me recognise my worth and imputes meaning to my otherwise dull existence on mother earth. (Now don’t ask me  where that sense of emptiness comes from. I guess it’s congenital …built into my genes).

And that’s my source of motivation. 

Being busy …

 

All quotes from Pexel