Instinct And Intuition

Instinct, as I understand, is an impulse to external stimulus. It has or may have a set pattern. Rather animalistic. For example, my instinct tells me not to trust a person who does not make eye contact while talking. I may be right or wrong. The person may be autistic for all one knows. But that will be my first impression given the circumstance. As is known, humans do act and believe on instinctual basis.

In contrast, intuition is something deeper. A cognition which may not be based on immediate indubitable facts and irrefutable reasoning. But the feeling emanates from your core and try if you may you cannot shrug it off. I may have an intuition of danger lurking round the corner. I, for myself, will not equate it with clairvoyance.

When I was doing the online course on Kriya Yoga ( a form of meditation) from Yogananda Satsanga Society founded by Swami Yogananda in 1917, strong emphasis was laid on developing the intuitive force through sadhana or habitual single minded practices.

Instinct is basically a primal endowment which becomes a guiding and driving factor if one is left alone to fend for oneself in this big bad world. It is the inbuilt surviving the jungle aptitude which not only leads us but also becomes our defence mechanism.

I have always relied on my instincts. More so, when I had to move to Kolkata, soon after graduation, on the promise of a job. Though It was my birth City I was brought up in a more cosmopolitan surrounding in the Capital. I found it difficult to deal with the Kolkattans because they thought differently.

I was young and not unattractive. I lived with my paternal aunt and uncle who were extremely orthodox. I not only had to survive in the narrow, regionalistic ethos of the city but also in the office which had a bad work culture.

For guidance, therefore, I leaned heavily on my inner voice. When young boys chased me on road my instinctive reaction was to retaliate. It’s not that all had malafide intentions. But my survival instinct was more overpowering than my evaluative abilities.

But intuitively I knew that this was not the place for me. On hindsight I can furnish undebatable justifications for my dislike towards the city and its dwellers. My colleagues considered me the other one. I was an outsider who couldn’t quite jell with them. I did not take the flattery route to placate the bosses or the ones who disliked me. I did not like the way, generally, women conducted themselves. I could not adopt their coy, artificial ways. I hated the men who thought women were easily available if they were single. Though I was known for my straightforwardness and no-nonsense attitude yet one could not always be on guard. It was tiresome and tedious. They were not used to me and I was not used to them. The non-acceptability was mutual.

But it was more than that. I could not see a future for myself there. A future where social control was minimal. Individual freedom was available and acceptable. A place where I did not feel like a stranger. I felt all these emotions churning inside me even then. But with that there was something else which was inexplicable, unignorable and unbearable. I knew I could not spend my entire life in this claustrophobic state of mind. I call this intuition which prompted me to pray day and night to make the impossible possible.

After eight long years the shackles broke. I came back to Delhi. Life was not easy thereafter. But the coping mechanism worked better in a known environment where I knew how to deal with people.

So, the summary of it is I have always relied on my instincts and intuitions. And I have never repented having done so even if it were a wrong choice or decision. At least, it was based on my faculties. I am proud of my preferences, avoidances as well as indecisions.

Because all were part of me. They were mine. And they made me.