My Lousy Neighbour

I do not know what makes a good neighbour but I sure know what makes a bad one. I was dying to write about the second floor occupants of the building I stay in but refrained thinking why should I spread negativity and write about those who are not worthy at all. And then the prompt happened which re-ignited the embers of hatred into raging flames. So, here I am with the sordid tale.

It’s sixteen years now that I am tolerating, not very silently though, a bunch of illiterate scum with source of income dubious and language “too strong” for the ears.. The entire family including the daughter-in-laws are made out of the same mould. Birds of the same feather flock together so to say. The entire family has long standing issues with me – the feeling is mutual.

They are those whose forefathers must have been migrants. The family has a tendency to encroach upon every bit of open space (private or public) they can think of. For example, they will park their child’s bicycle where the electric metres of all the flats are installed or place it on the landings so that nobody can go up and down without colliding with the monstrous machine. The representative of the electricity distribution company has time and again warned them to keep the Meter Room free of all obstacles but nothing doing. These people just don’t understand that the enclosure is not their portico.

When it comes to getting repairs done to the common parts of the building with pooled funds they are the first to object or dessent or pay less than their share. They have ingenious bargaining tactics which they employ on such ocassion. If you are proposing a renovation or repair that is the opportune moment to table their personal requirements. Idea is to get those done from the pooled fund and save money.

As soon as winter begins the wife stops drying the clothes in the machine. As a result, the clothes drip onto my entrance where I can enjoy a free shower in biting cold. Mind it, in Northern India every household has their personal, if not washing, then at least drying machine !!

As I said the family has the genetic code of encroachers. They are not happy with the original measurements of the flat. So they had to extend their verandah to block the sunshine of other flats. In a country with extreme weather sun shine is a must in foggy winters and even in scorching summers so as not to have miserably dark and damp interiors, seepages, patchy walls, termites and other insects which breed in sun-less flats. But with such neighbours one can very well forget about healthy and hygienic living.

If there is seepage in my flat because their leaky pipes I have to get the leakage repaired because it’s my problem you see not theirs.

The friction started when they were not allowed to construct an extra room covering my backyard. At first they thought they could make me dance to their morbid tune because I was a ‘lonely’ lady looking after another old lady. But ahem soon they realized their mistake.

By the way in order to do ‘extensive’ repairs to their flat they put up scaffolds blocking my gate. Without taking my permission. The job was delegated to an irresponsible contractor who was callous enough not to secure the scaffolds tight enough. So one fine afternoon the whole structure crumbled down on my balcony. My maid who was working outside at that time had a narrow escape. My pet has a habit of following my maid. Thank God she was inside. It could have been my mother strolling out.

When we complained about the carelessness of the contractor they refused point blank that such an incident ever occured. Just imagine!

Next we knew one of the contractor’s men trespassed onto my sister’s balcony. (Incidentally my sister resides on the first floor). We had to call the police. There was a big hullabaloo. But no that did not change anything for better.

However, as poetic justice a chunk of plaster peeled off the jinxed verandah soon after and splattered onto my garden and over the AC unit. Again a narrow escape…

Some major repairs of the building are still pending because of my dear neighbour’s non-cooperation. Inbetween we have had many verbal wars. They have a funny habit of getting work done by those whom I employ. The wife once asked my mother’s care giver to give her a body massage. Yeah you heard me right. My house helps are as old as these buggers are in the Block. So no love is lost between them. Thank God for that….

Though I can write a whole book on them yet I cannot resist the temptation of telling you all that there is a general suspicion that the family practices witchcraft as well!!!😱😱

The only solace is that all the other residents of the building also share my agony. So that, in a sadistic way, gives me much peace if not pleasure. At least I am not the only one.

So now you know who should not be your neighbour. There are all kinds in this world. And all are not Good Samaritans.

In my present mood I cannot recall if we ever had exemplary neighbours but a shade better definitely. Even those who are absolute aloof will do instead of the insufferable ones I am compelled to endure. Putting up a tough fight, though at times is necessary, the fuel-less fire ultimately burn you out.

So thank your lucky stars if you don’t have such ‘classy’ neighbours. If you unfortunately do heartfelt sympathies are with you.