It was 2013 when the consultant Orthopaedician advised me not to use public conveyance for long distances including to and fro office. The over- crowded Metro was my traveling mode at that time which invariably involved a standing journey at least for an hour or more. Due to the pain and discomfort in my legs and lower back, driving my personal car was simply a no-no.
It was also the time when my mother, an octogenarian, got operated for breast cancer. A successful surgery does not imply end of all travails. Post-surgery treatments continued which resulted in more and more complications. She was in and out of hospital. The situation demanded readily available mode of conveyance for routine and more for exigent needs which seemed to be looming large all the time.
We decided to keep a driver. However, it took sometime before we got one. The boy who came to be appointed was known to one of the handymen of our Block whom we knew for years. So we took it for granted that his recommendation was indubitable.
As a family we deeply believe in the intrinsic goodness of human soul. All house helps are considered part of an extended family and we are with them in their times of joy and grief. They have also been with us for countless years without giving us any opportunity to question their integrity. However, sadly, all are not made out of the same mould and kindness can be taken as weakness and manipulated for immense personal gains by tricksters.
The young fellow, who purportedly had previous experience of driving, did not manifest even average skill of maneuvering a car on the very first day itself. But the urgency of the hour prompted us to give him a month’s time to pick up the requisite abilities on the job. The boy did pick up a lot but at the expense of my car which gradually turned into a plaything in his hands.
He also had behavioural issues which we attributed to his rustic and a dysfunctional family background. He had lost his mother as a kid. His father did not bother much about the siblings. It was upon him to marry his sister off to a good family. To perform all these responsibilities he needed money and consequently a job. Needless to say, we were readily taken in by his tragic story and soon enfolded him under our umbrella of care and concern.
In the meanwhile, my mother’s health deteriorated. Her memory kept failing giving way to profound dementia. It was an ailment we did not know much about. We were gathering experience each day the hard way.
During this time I too suffered from memory lapses and could not remember small details like whether I had paid for the packet of milk I had told my driver to get from the Dairy. Often he would return the money saying that I had already paid him. But till date I am unsure whether it was attention deficit on my part or this was his way of making in-roads into our trust turf till we could swear by his innocence and trustworthiness without a morsel of doubt.
Then small mishaps started occurring – a missing car stereo, a misplaced Tupperware, small sums of money vanishing from the purse….we gave him the benefit of doubt! The sunny side of the story was that in the meantime the boy’s sister got married, some land disputes were settled off and his overall demeanour had the aura of flourishing prosperity. To my extreme naivety, my magnanimous monetary contribution in achieving all these milestones of his life grew beyond his repaying capacity. With it grew his tantrums. However, when accosted he would sob inconsolably giving excuses of onerous familial pressure. I had this niggling suspicion that he took advantage of his association with a respectable family as a means to attain nefarious ends. The disappearance of money became more frequent and larger in amount. At this juncture, it became quite clear that his instincts were not on the right side of law. He was beyond redemption and our endeavor to rectify him was in vain.
By now my mother was completely bedridden. I was her sole caregiver. My elder sister was a great support. But she got busy settling my nephews who were at the threshold of leaving the nest. The driver had now become a veritable security threat to the household. Finally, we had no other option but to throw him out of the job.
Adversities and adversaries wizen one beyond imagination. As I share this life episode I relive my mistakes. First and foremost, a thorough antecedent check, by way of police verification and/or personal investigation should have been undertaken. Proof of identification and residence should have been verified and a copy of the same retained. Additionally, a close watch on him on regular basis was necessary to gauge his intent since he was a new entrant to the household. A police complaint at the very first attempt at thievery would have acted as an alert signal if not a deterrent for the miscreant. Security cameras inside and outside should have been a precondition to deploying a new comer. Habitual reliance on monetary help other than salary should be discouraged and only extended, if at all imperative, against a collateral and involving a mutually known guarantor for any future eventuality.
Later I did lodge a police complaint and a subsequent FIR about the thefts. The police cautioned the boy not to venture near our premise thereafter but the closure of the case was never intimated even after several follow-ups. I have got security cameras installed inside my home now.
Wisdom gained on hindsight – adherence to established procedures and safeguard measures to counter any event of breach of security is our own responsibility. However, preempting breach of trust remains a debatable issue. Surprisingly, notwithstanding the enormity of support that we were readily making available to him, the boy still thought it appropriate and convenient to take recourse to criminal methods to satiate his appetite for material aspirations which were seemingly endless.
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What a terrible year. I do hope you retain your capacity for trust
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What a terrible year. I hope your basic trust has not been destroyed
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That’s the question. Should such experience stop me from trusting people?
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Never stop trusting just kick the untrustworthy to the curb!
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Thanks Belladonna.
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You’re welcome!
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If you cheat me, the first time, shame on you. If you cheat me the second time, shame on me
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Sometimes you let the other person have time to improve upon himself because you have that intrinsic faith in timeless values of love, trust, care and concern.
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